The Companion Files: Dani and Ali Mission one
by Queen Grapefruit
Summary: We've all read those funny storys about people being sucked into Naruto, this one has Companions! Completely crazy, coming straight to you from a mind full of toothpicks and other such nonsense. Please read and rewiew! no pairings...yet. possibly OOCnes.
1. Introducing Dani and Ali

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Star Wars, or any kinds of asparagus at all.

"..." talking

'...' thinking

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The Companion Files: Dani and Ali mission one; part one 

It began much like any other day. Jr. Companion Daniel-ica refused to wake up. Not phased in the least Jr. Companion-in-training Ali ripped the sheets off her slumbering master/sister. The thing was, Dani refused to let go of the sheets. So in the end Ali dragged her resolutely slumbering sister off the bed and down the hall to the kitchen by way of the sheets she was still clinging to. When that didn't wake Dani Ali shot her with the spray bottle kept on the counter for extra slow mornings. Dani awoke in an explosion of noise and flying fists, convinced that she was under attack from Great Potato knows what.

"Back off you singing geese! You can't have my pot roast and I will bite your nose!"

"Morning!" Alex said cheerfully. Unlike Dani, she had no troubles waking up. Dani shook the water out if her short brown-ish blond-ish hair and attempted to rub the sleep from her sometimes gray, green, or blue eyes, which gave her an overall eccentric and changing look.

"Morning my ass!" Dani grumbled as she stalked over to the fridge in search of food. Alex helpfully handed her a plate of toast and eggs, trying to keep her away from her favorite weapons, artichokes, for as long as possible.

Being Dani's younger sister, most people would expect Ali to be the shorter of the two, but much to Dani's dismay, they were both about five four. For a while Dani had tried desperately to stop Ali's steady growth, she had thrown her into a trash compactor, tied bricks to her head, and taped her to the ceiling (Only Dani could fathom why duct taping someone to the ceiling could stop growth, and she's not telling) all to no avail. So eventually she had just given up on the entire thing, but not after Ali had spent the better part of a month on the ceiling. The similarities did not end with height either. Ali had more chocolate-y brown hair, which at the moment she was keeping short, and wintery blue eyes. All in all, Ali seemed to be the less unsure of the two. She had an eye color that didn't change with each new shirt, and her hair knew that it was brown.

"What training do you have planned for today?" Ali asked while Dani munched on her breakfast.

"Well first we will have a little target practice, then we will be conducting a reflex test, and then if we have time we will have another cross-town shootout." Dani said, cheering at the prospect of all the fun planned for the day. Ali however, was less than pleased. The last cross-town shootout had been decidedly not fun. And for good reason. Being pelted by artichokes for hours on end was both painful and humiliating. Then again, that was the last thing planned, so maybe Dani would forget.

By now Dani had finished her late breakfast and was rummaging through the fridge, looking for her artichokes. Ali hopped back to her bedroom to get her favorite weapon, a 'Spud Launcher' as she fondly called it, but more commonly known as a potato rocket.

They trooped outside and stood poised in the small hedged in front lawn, waiting for a target to walk by. You see, to most people pedestrians and neighbors are just that. To a companion, they are target practice.

* * *

"AAH! THIS IS SUCH A SLOW MORNING!!!" Ali shouted, losing interest when no one walked by.

"Well Ali, it's Sunday. What do you expect! Don't worry, things will pick up when church lets out." Dani said confidently.

Ali cackled evilly, taking up her post with renewed interest, eyeing the church that was conveniently located across the street.

Not long after, the church doors swung open, and people rushed frantically to their cars, being very familiar with the habits of the Jr. Companions. Dani launched the first volley of a seemingly inexhaustible supply of artichokes. Ali aimed her spud launcher, taking out her first target.

Almost fifteen minuets later, Dani took the results of today's practice. They were as follows: 12 minor injuries, 15 unconscious, a stunned herring, and a terrified priest. Not bad, Ali's aim was improving.

"Now for some reflex tests!" Dani shouted, grabbing Ali and throwing her at a Daffodil truck barreling down the street. Ali flipped mid flight and landed on the windshield. On a whim, she glomped it, and then stared to lick it. The driver was so startled he drove the truck into the front window of a nearby home. Ali, of course, used her Jedi powers to jump off the windshield just before the explosion. She ran up to Dani, striking a victorious pose, only to be hit by an artichoke.

"Lets get a snack." Dani said as Ali rubbed the lump growing on her forehead. So they went inside, Ali grabbing a snickers and Dani grabbing a bottle of Salsa.

Dani battled the salsa jar for a bit, concentrating all her strength, comparable to that of a jellybean as Agent Anita once kindly put it, on the lid of the stubborn jar. After about fifteen minuets of her fruitless struggle Ali had had enough and popped it open for her in a matter of seconds. Even though she was mad at Dani, it was still painful to watch her older sister loose a fight with a bottle of salsa.

"You shouldn't eat so much salt. Salsa isn't a snack." Ali said primly, trying to pay Dani back for throwing that last artichoke at her, and remind her that opening the jar was an act of charity, not forgiveness.

"You're right." Dani said, "IT'S A MEAL!!!!" and with that she threw another artichoke at Ali. The Snickers was knocked out of her hand, and landed in the other room with a splash.

"NOOOO!!!" Ali screamed rushing into the bathroom after it. Dani followed calmly, only to see Ali with her head in the toilet, searching for her snickers.

"Ali get your head out of the toilet, it's not becoming." Dani said, hoping that Ali wouldn't listen to, or couldn't her the warning.

When only bubbles let the toilet, Dani gleefully flushed it. Only, instead of Ali yelling because the Snickers was gone, they both got sucked in.

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Hey! This is my first Fanfic, so I really would like it if you could tell me what you think...nicely. Other than that,

REVIEW!!!!!!!


	2. Poofing

Disclaimer: I own practically nothing in this story. Not Naruto, not any of the assorted Star Wars stuff, not even Companions, and not Chuck Norris. The End.

"..." talking

'...' thinking. Only I don't know why that's there because no one really thinks too much in this story.

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The Companion Files: Dani and Ali mission one; part two 

"Now look what you've done!" Ali wined, "My Snickers is gone, we're both wet, and WAIT! THIS ISN'T OUR BATHROOM!!!" An Ali was right. As they both climbed out of the toilet and looked around they found themselves in a strange bathroom.

"Huh…well lets find out who's bathroom we're in." Dani said cheerfully, this was even more fun than a cross-town shootout! They pulled out their Light sabers, standard Companion equipment, and jumped through the door. An old man in a white and red robe with a funny hat looked up at them from a mountain of paper work.

"OH MY GIDDY GOD'S UNDERPANTS!" Ali screamed, deactivating her Light saber and bouncing around the room like the maniac zombie that she was, "WE FLUSHED OURSELVES INTO THE HOKAGE'S OFFICE!" The poor old man looked startled by Alex's strange outburst and even stranger behavior.

"Hi-ya! Dani said, waving at the old man, hoping to distract him until Ali calmed down and she could poof them out of there, "I'm Jr. Companion Daniel-ica and this is my apprentice Jr. Companion in-training Ali. We flushed ourselves into your bathroom by mistake and don't really know how or if we can get back so would it be okay if we stayed in Kohona for a bit?" The Hokage nodded, not really sure that he knew what a Jr. Companion was. Ali had by now bounced her way over to the window and was hanging out of it, waving to the pigeons resting there. Suddenly she let out a shriek.

"I can see Kiba!! I need to poke his hair!"

"Okay but try not to get lost." Dani said. And without further ado Ali jumped out the window and started barreling down the street, chasing after a very startled and confused Kiba.

Dani turned to look at the Hokage, who was still very startled by their sudden appearance, but quickly becoming less so, ANBU were also starting to peek around the door, wondering what was going on. That wasn't good. The only thing that Companions were very terribly good at fighting was ankle-sock-wearing-civilians. Pissing off these elite ninja would not be a good idea.

"I suppose I should tell you about Companions," Dani said, trying to talk her way out of this mess, or at least stall until Ali was far enough away that getting her wouldn't be too much of a problem, "Well, it all started with 6 sisters, the original Companions. You see, these sisters had a grand and noble vision, a world free of ankle socks. These sisters roamed the world, freeing it of ankle socks and, eventually, snow blowers as well. Many joined their cause, and thus began the Jr. Companions. Some lucky few, such as myself, were trained by the Companions themselves. Now we pass on the Companion ways to a new generation, the Jr. Companions-in training. All Companions are slightly eccentric (understatement of the year), so I must ask you to excuse Ali's enthusiasm. You must also be wondering about our dress, let me assure you all Companions wear skin-tight body suits, and carry a variety of unusual weapons. Take me and Ali for example. I favor artichokes and an angry cat, a kitten named Cougar. Ali prefers her spud launcher, a meat cleaver, and an abnormally large Mutton leg. And for the time being, that's really all you need to know about Companions." Sarutobi was about to demand a better explanation, such as how Dani and Ali had come to be in his office, when they heard shouting coming from the streets.

"Noo! Pineapples drink slugs and no you can't taste my soda you flea!!"

"Well, that must be Ali." Dani said hopping to the window, very glad to have an excuse to escape the suspicious ninja, "Feel free to assign us a sensei, seeing as how we don't know how long we'll be here." Hopefully that would make them a touch more comfortable and less likely to throw the girls out of the village, as they very easily could, and get them some free ninja training to boot. With that she leapt out the window after Ali.

"What do you want us to do Hokage-sama?" the leader of the ANBU said, appearing at Sarutobi's elbow.

"I don't think they're any threat to the village, the older one seemed very concerned about what happened and equally eager to leave. But we'll keep an eye on them all the same."

"Hai Hokage-sama." the ANBU said, disappearing in a puff of nin smoke.

'Well,' the Third thought, returning to his paper work, assigning the new genin to teams, 'these two will certainly be interesting. Let's see…they seem to do fine on their own, they could handle being a two man team…hmm…but I'll make Kakashi train them and team 7. Heeheehee…serves him right for calling me wrinkly!'

* * *

Meanwhile Ali had cornered Kiba and she suction-cupped onto his head, like some demented sort of hat. He tried to get her off, but her zombie powers had strange sticking qualities. Still, let it not be said that Kiba did not put up a valiant fight. He tried bashing her against brick walls, scraping her against nearby garbage cans (to which she complained loudly) and eventually having Akamaru bite her. Kiba ran around, changing direction as quickly as possible in an attempt to throw her off, when he happened to pass in front of a darkened shop window. He stopped and stared at their reflection in shock. Was she foaming at the mouth? Kiba then realized that yes, she was foaming. Foaming was bad, foaming meant rabies. He was lucky not to have been bitten yet. Maybe, if he just held still, she would go away. Kiba stood perfectly still, praying that she would loose interest and leave, Ali, sensing his terror, began to cackle evilly. She then commanded that Kiba carry her to Canada. Kiba of course had no idea where, let alone what, Canada was, but when Ali started to chew of his head he freaked out. Kiba took off running, hurtling through the streets of Kohona. Ali was screaming and whooping, very much enjoying her ride. 

Eventually Kiba ran straight through a pack of fan girls, tripped, and fell. They swarmed around Kiba and Ali, fuming because they had scared off Sasuke. Poor Kiba whimpered, recalling the last run in he had had with fan girls, and Ali leapt to her feet, brandishing an astonishingly large mutton leg.

"Wait!" Kiba shouted, worried about what would happen if the rabid girl was attacked, "She's got rabies!"

"No I don't silly poodle!" Ali said happily, patting him on the head, "I just have hyperactive salivary glands!"

"That rabid thing tried to attack Sasuke!" One of the girls shouted. This set them all off into crazy fan girl attack mode.

"Noo! Pineapples drink slugs and no you can't taste my soda you flea!!" Ali shouted, hoping to scare them off. Instead, the fan girls looked confused for a moment, and then began advancing again. Ali hit two of them over the head with her mutton leg, but quite a few had kuni. Knowing that she couldn't last for very long, Ali called for Dani.

"GOLDFISH!!!" The distress call of the Jr. Companions in-training echoed comically through the street. Then Dani ran around the corner. She pulled out her Light saber, and then changed her mind when she saw all of the fan girls. She paused mid stride and put it away, pulling out her soon to be angry cat. Ali, guessing at what Dani was planning, grabbed Kiba and used her zombie powers to stick to a tree trunk. Then Dani threw Cougar into the midst of the group, shooting him repeatedly with a spray bottle. Enraged, Cougar attacked the fan girls, trying desperately to escape the relentless spray. Ali jumped off the tree and, careful to stay well away from Cougar, went to stand by Dani. The screams of the terrified fan girls were beginning to draw attention, and some people were coming over to investigate. Before anyone could get around to trying to stop them, Dani stashed the spray bottle and Ali scooped up the sopping Cougar, then they poofed over to an empty training field.

"AAAAA!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?" Ali shouted, startled by her unknown poofing abilities.

"Ali, all Jr. Companions can poof." Dani said, trying to calm her panicky apprentice,

"And I poofed us outa there because all of those ninja blokes are as fast or faster than us, and you have yet to master the highly technical art of poofing."

"Oh, hokey dories!" Ali shouted, "Will you teach me to poof?"

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Yay!! I think this is just about the last revision of this chapter, although...

REVIEW!!! But only if you're going to be helpful. Or at least pretend to be.

THE END.


	3. Bonding with team 7

Thanks to all one of you who have reviewed, please I would love more of you to review as well!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Star Wars, or The Great Potato. And Chuck is King.

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**Chapter Three: Bonding with the Team**

"Hmm...well I suppose." Dani said, "But I must warn you, this is a highly technical technique, don't expect to master it in one day."

"YAY!!!" Ali shouted, jumping for joy. Dani sweat dropped and then began her instruction.

"Now, the first step is to think 'I want to go...' and then wherever you want to be. Got it?"

"Yup!" Ali shouted, eagerly awaiting the next step.

"So...we should make your first destination simple..." Dani said, looking for a suitable spot.

"WAIT!! What about the other steps!?" Ali shouted, clearly in a panic.

"Oh, that was it." Dani said distractedly, still looking for a good spot. "How 'bout we try over by that big rock?"

"Okay!" Ali yipped, clearly over her previous fright. She squinted her eyes shut, there was a small poofing sound, and then she was standing next to the rock.

"Hey! That was easy!" Ali said, looking around, slightly dazed.

"Wow! You're a natural!" Dani said beaming.

"Hee hee!" Ali squealed, as she poofed all over the training area.

"Okay, let's try something a little bit harder." Dani said, trying to reign in her hyperactive apprentice. Just then an ANBU walked over to them.

"Are you Jr. Companion Daniel-ica and Jr. Companion-in-training Ali?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yup! That's us!" Ali said gleefully, poofing next to him, thinking to tweak his nose, when she realized that his nose was safely hidden behing his mask she poofed indignantly into a nearby tree.

"Uh..." he said, startled by Ali, "The Hokage told me to tell you that you will be a two man team, under the supervision of Hatake Kakashi. You are to meet him and team 7 at 6:00 at the Academy." With that, he hurriedly walked away.

"YEAH!!" Did you hear that Dani!? We're gonna be with team 7!" Ali shouted, poofing out of sight.

"I better go find her before she burns something down again, the last thing we want is angry ninja after us." Dani mumbled, poofing off after Ali.

"DANI LOOK! WE'RE HERE!" Ali shouted, way over excited by the fact that they were in the Academy. The room that Ali was currently ricocheting around in was occupied by none other that Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked, reasonably confused, "You're not on our team."

"Nope! We're a two man team, but the Hokage said that Kakashi had to be our sensei too. We'll go on missions with you and what not!" Ali said, latching onto Naruto.

"I'm Jr. Companion Dani and this is my apprentice Jr. Companion-in-training Ali. You can just call us Dani and Ali though." Dani said, prying Ali off a frightened looking Naruto and dragging her to a corner, where hopefully she wouldn't bother anyone too much.

Just then Kakashi entered the room, getting hit on the head by an eraser. Ali fell over laughing with that peculiar cackle everyone who has ever met her has come to either love or fear, while Dani attempted to hide a smile behind her hand. No Jr. Companion would ever get caught in a trap like that, mostly because they hardly ever used doors, being far to lazy to walk any distance greater than 100 yards. Kakashi, who was very put off, told everyone to meet him on the roof, hoping that by showing off his poofing abilities he could make up for his disgraceful entrance. As he appeared on the roof, Ali leapt at him.

"Hey-ya Sex Hair! What took ya so long?"

Kakashi tried to swat her away, wondering how she had managed to get on the roof so fast, but instead Ali used her zombie powers to cling to his arm. Dani chuckled while Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura came panting up the stairs. With some help from Dani Kakashi managed to peel Ali off of him, and they all settled down into comfortable sitting positions.

"Now, let's get to know each other." Kakashi said, "Let's start with you two."

Ali leapt to her feet, waving her arms around for no apparent reason. "My name is Ali! My favorite weapons are my spud launcher, my meat cleaver, and my giant mutton leg. I like toothbrushes, goldfish, cheerios, Cougar, apple sauce, and chairs. I don't like tomatoes and mushrooms. My dream is to become a zombi-pirate-ninja-yeti." And with that she sat down, smiling contentedly. Everyone was stunned for a moment, and then Dani stood up.

"My name is Daniel-ica but people normally call me Dani. My favorite weapons are my artichokes, don't laugh they're deadly, and my angry cat, a kitten named Cougar. I like toasters, giant killer worms, blenders, vacuums, gingko trees, and rocks. I was trained by the famed Companion Agent Anita and I am a high ranking Happy Noodle Boy Copy cat. Every Companion has a special ability, sort of like a Kekkai Genkai, and mine is lightning. You may have noticed that Alex's powers are akin to those of a zombie. I dislike mornings, slugs, and everyone who claims to be 'sane'. Announce, sitting down again.

"Ookay..." Kakashi said, ever so slightly taken aback, "Moving on. What about the rest of you?"

"Well my name is Naruto and I like RAMEN!!!" Naruto said, jumping around ecstatically, "I hate waiting for the Ramen to cook and my dream is to be Hokage!"

"And how about you?" Kakashi said, looking towards Sasuke.

"I have many dislikes, few likes, and my dream? Well it's not so much a dream as an ambition, and that is to kill a certain man." Sasuke said in a monotone.

"I thought that might come up." Kakashi said, with the tiniest mite of disappointment, "Looks like you're last pinky."

"I'm Sakura, my dream is to...blush...I like...more blushing...I don't like...glares at Naruto..." Sakura said, looking dreamily at Sasuke til she got to the dislikes bit.

"Well you lot sound like a fun group." Kakashi said in a clearly less than thrilled voice, this is just one reminder of why you don't mess with the Hokage. "There will be a test tomorrow, come to field three at 7:00 tomorrow, oh and don't eat any breakfast, you'll just throw up."

* * *

After Kakashi left everyone was getting up to leave when Ali tackled Naruto. 

"Kiba did a terrible job, so you will be my new horsie! Now, TAKE ME TO CANADA!!" With that she perched herself on top of his head. Naruto looked unsure of what to do, so Dani gave him a hint before Ali started to drool on him.

"Just run through the village as fast as you can."

"Yeah! Just think of it as strength, speed, and endurance training all in one!" Ali added. She can be very manipulative, even though she acts like she's a regular hyperactive ball of energy, without enough mental strength to toast a pre toasted roll. **(A/N: **No Ali, I'm not calling you stupid. I'm just saying that you act like it. Maybe... Just a little. Hey! What are you doing?! Put that duct tape down! I'm warning you! I'm the author and what I say goes! No!...mumph.

"Nuh-uh!!! I'm the future Hokage so you better respect me or else! I will not give you a piggy back and I'm not stupid!" Naruto shouted, trying to force Ali off, and having just as much luck as Kiba.

"Fine. I'll buy you Ramen." Ali said, thoroughly displeased that Naruto wasn't a complete meat head like she had expected, "...For a week." Ali amended when Naruto showed no signs of budging.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted, taking off through the streets of Kohona.

"Poor little bugger, he never stood a chance." Dani said shaking her head sympathetically.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, completely lost.

"He just signed up for a week of piggy back rides for one bowl of ramen." Dani said, laughing at Ali's superb use of the most deadly weapon of the Companions, vagueness.

"Hn." Sasuke said, walking towards the stairs.

"Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?!" Dani shouted, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck.

"Home." He said, glaring at her and wishing to be far away from the crazy lady in the skin tight body suit standing before him.

"Do you really think that I'm going to go running through the whole village after them?! Nuh-uh, not gonna happen. You are going to carry me." Dani said, shooting him with a little blot of lightning and climbing onto his back.

"GET OFF OF ME!!!" Sasuke roared, trying to claw Dani off of him. When she still didn't drop off he went for her eyes, as he is a violent little monster. But his plan was quickly spoiled when instead of trying to protect her eyes, she bit his hand. He quickly withdrew the offended limb, and notice that it was bleeding quite profusely. With another enraged, though this time wordless, roar Sasuke threw himself against a nearby chimney. Unfortunately for him, Dani was fairly used to this and just before he hit, she flipped herself up, doing a hand stand on his head and using the force to balance. So it was not Dani, but Sasuke that hit the chimney. He grunted from the pain, and Dani wobbled atop his head, unable to hold up her own weight even with considerable help from the Force. Dani's arms then gave out completely from the strain of supporting five whole pounds, the Force was holding the rest. She lost balance and flipped over Sasuke's head, her butt hitting him just below his diaphragm, knocking the air from him. He lurched forward, gasping for breath, just as I bent backwards, in an attempt to regain my lost balance. His nose met the back of my head with a lovely little crunch.

"Ow ow ow ow." He muttered, holding his chewed hand to his bleeding nose, he really was a baby when it came to the broken nose department.

"Hah! What now?" Dani shouted, doing a dance for the victory that was hers by sheer luck, "I'll tell you what! You're going to give me a piggy back or I will tell everyone that you got your ass kicked by a 'weak little helpless girl'"

"First stop, the Ramen shop! If I know Ali she'll force Naruto to buy her ramen once she's tired him out."

Sasuke, however, was far from done. He stood stock still, thinking that she couldn't force him to move.

"Hey! Get off Sasuke-kun!"

Aa...Dani had forgotten about Sakura.

"You shouldn't have to walk too!" Dani gasped in shock, seizing Sakura and placing her on Sasuke's back next to her. "We can share Sasuke until I can find you someone else. Now, Sasuke, take us to the ramen shop!" When Sasuke didn't move Dani shot him on the ear with a slightly larger blot of lightning. He grunted and grudgingly started forwards, trying to figure out how to rid himself of this newest and most annoying pest.

Once on the street Dani had to again command that Sasuke take them to 'that ramen shop that Naruto likes with the crazy name". On the way there they happened to pass poor Kiba.

"HAH!! Perfect! Sakura you can ride Kiba now!" Dani shouted, grabbing a fistful of Kiba's hair to keep him from bolting. "Ali might have been a bit too much for him but you two should get along nicely."

"Not you loonies again!" Kiba shouted, recognizing Dani from his unfortunate encounter with Ali.

"Actually it's just me but you better not try any funny stuff. Sasuke can tell you all about where that gets you. But he's not talkative so instead I will tell you. A nose that now points slightly to the left and a bitten hand, that's what. And let me assure you, while Ali might not have had rabies when you first met her, there is no saying that she hasn't had plenty of opportunity to get them since. There is also no saying that I don't have them."

* * *

So they continued, with Sakura nudging Kiba and Dani zapping Sasuke every once in a while. When they finally reached the ramen shop, they saw Ali slurping some beef ramen happily, with an exhausted Naruto collapsed on the floor next to her. Kiba and Sakura laughed, while each taking a seat and ordering ramen too. Ali flicked a noodle at Naruto and it landed on his face. He instantly leapt up, screaming, when he saw where he was he slumped against the counter, begging for ramen. Meanwhile, Dani was getting off Sasuke, being careful to keep a firm hold of his hair. 

"Why are you holding onto Sasuke-kun's hair?" Naruto asked around a mouthful of ramen.

"So he can't run away." Dani said simply, reaching for her own ramen. Sasuke did a weird sorta manly growl thing and Dani yanked on his hair.

"Bounty Hunter rule 23.77768: All men have sensitive hair and this weakness should be mercilessly exploited." Ali quoted primly, somehow managing to have an evil grin at the same time.

And so they sat, laughing and chatting, everyone but Sasuke having fun. Why you might ask? Because, as a dear little pall of mine would say 'Sasuke doesn't have a good time unless he's plotting his brother's demise in his own little dark corner somewhere, while he isn't being emo or cynical.'

Then it was time to pay the bill. Kiba and Sakura each paid for their bowls, and everything seemed to be going smoothly until Ali told Naruto that she would only pay for one of his twenty bowls and that he had to carry her for a week.

"No! I'll pay for the other nineteen bowls I guess but I am not carrying you for the rest of the week! Nu-uh out of the question." He said stubbornly.

"I though you never went back on your word, and you did agree to this you know." Dani said, innocently examining the fingers of the hand that wasn't still fisted into Sasuke's hair.

"Wha...NO!...but I...never...crazy..." Naruto gasped, at a loss of what to say. He _had_ agreed.

They then continued down the street, Kiba and Sasuke carrying Sakura and Dani, because Kiba though that he had seen Ali drooling at one point, and Sasuke because Dani still had a death grip on his hair. With Naruto, resigned to his fate, and Ali, having a grand old time, in the lead.

Ali was beginning to fall asleep, holding Naruto's hair only halfheartedly, when all of a sudden she came fully awake. She hauled on Naruto's hair, turning the yelping boy towards the park that they happened to be passing. Dani too was persuading Sasuke to turn, and rather violently at that.

"Umm...could you please follow Naruto and Sasuke." Sakura said, not wanting to seem as violent as she on occasion was. Dani and Ali were just jumping off by the time Kiba and Sakura reached them. To everyone's surprise they then began attacking a tree. They were even more startled when a giant blue Hippo fell out. Ali and Dani then calmly returned to Naruto and Sasuke as the Hippo wandered sleepily off.

"Uh..." Was really all anyone could say for a bit, the randomness of the Companions can be disconcerting at first.

"WHAT! Why are you staring at us!?! It's the skin tight body suits isn't it?" Ali said, misinterpreting everyone's stunned looks. "Well that is easily remedied." Ali then began to tug the badly shaken Naruto towards the stores.

Many hours later Dani, Ali, and Sakura left the last store in Kohona. At first Dani had been indecently grumpy, but eventually Ali and Sakura had gotten her to relax and have fun. They turned as Sasuke, Naruto, and Kiba came out after them, staggering under the mountains of bags that they were each carrying. For a wile they had tried to carry Dani, Ali, and Sakura as well, but eventually there just wasn't enough room. Inside the bags was an assortment of normal ninja clothing, bandages, soaps, hats, shoes, belts, weapons, armored ANBU clothing, toothpaste, towels, cleaning supplies, pillows, candles, cooking equipment, Origami paper, Pom-Poms, paper lanterns, bed sheets, jewelry, potted plants, rugs, toothpicks, PICKLES, kitty supplies, books, soup, various types of alcohol, hair dye, and fancy china.

"That was fun!" Dani shouted, bouncing in a way that was strangely reminiscent of Ali.

"Can we go home now?" Ali said, completely exhausted.

"Of course not! We have yet to buy the most important thing!" Dani shouted, spinning bizarrely through the streets.

"What's that?" Kiba asked, trembling under the wight of the bags.

"A HOUSE!!!" Dani shouted, cartwheeling through the streets.

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**This is my ode to Neassa! you are a star!!! Thank you so much for all of the help, this story is tons better thanks to you!!! You are a Champion!!

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Ahhh...the end of chapter three. Hmm...so sleepy...in a nice way though... **

So...now all I need to do is type chappy four. Yay!

I still want reviews...

THE END.


	4. Story of the Malnourished Chipmunk

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of that other stuff. I should hope that I own Dani, as she has become something of an alter ego, and I surely own Ali.**

**RasenganRendan:** Thanks for all the support, if it weren't for you I might not have bothered to keep typing this.

**Albanian.ninja**: YAY!! Thanks a bunch! I'm thinking that you guys will show up at the Water/Zabuza arc bit, along with RasenganRendan's OC Arashi.

**Ali:** Yes I will remember that bit about the meat cleaver. For those of you reading this, yes Ali is a real person, capturing her particular brand of sanity (or the lack thereof) has been quite an experience!

**Neasa: **Thanks again, I really love how the other chapters turned out, I will try my hardest to watch for emerging MarySue-ness, but if you catch anything, especially little stupid things like the ANBU mask fandango I would be really super grateful if you could tell me. That goes for the rest of you too!

**Please review!!

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**

**Chapter Four: The Lamentable Tale of a Malnourished Chipmunk**

"You don't have a house." Sasuke said in a disbelieving way.

"Well, yeah! But that's soon to be remedied! I saw the perfect house for sale on the way to the ramen shop earlier. All we have to do is go to the Hokage's tower and buy it!" Dani said, skipping off in the direction of the distant tower.

Dani had bothered the woman working at the front desk until she gave them the papers they needed and after everything was signed and official, everyone followed Dani to the house.

They stopped in front of a square storm grey house with crumbling stairs leading to the peeling red front door, flanked by peeling red windows. It had a small fenced in front lawn filled with dying weeds and some scraggly lilac bushes. Dani opened the door and brushed away the cobwebs, exclaiming about how lovely the decrepit old house was. After they entered, Naruto and Sasuke dropped the bags they had been carrying on the splintery wooden floor and wondered what Dani was going on about. After they had toured the house everyone said their goodbyes and returned to their respective homes, Kiba first taking Sakura's bags home for her.

Back in their new home Dani had sorted through the bags and come up with some blankets and a couple rugs. She spread them on the floor of the entryway for Ali to sleep in, tucking her in tenderly.

* * *

After Ali was asleep I wandered through the house again, deciding where everything should be. The Kitchen and livingroom would be in the fist floor of course, with a small bathroom just off the living room and a pantry in the kitchen. I returned to the entry way and continued up the stairs, there was a small bathroom and two other rooms on the second floor. I walked into one and poked around a bit more. There were some windows, one set even had a window seat complete with a secret compartment. It was slightly smaller than the other room, but that would suit me just fine. 

The other room was much the same, only it had some broken furniture stacked in the corner. There was also a small walk in closet.

I returned downstairs and quietly began to sort through the bags next to Ali, looking for the cleaning stuff.

* * *

I woke up sitting on the floor, snuggled into a bright green rug. In the distance I could hear Dani moving around, cleaning no doubt. Just then there was a great big crash. I hurried to the source of the noise, up the stairs and to the left, to find Dani dumping some broken furniture out the windows and into the yard. 

"Hey-ya!" Dani said cheerfully, dusting off her hands as the last of the old boards finished clattering to the ground below, "I was thinking that this could be your room. It's larger than the other one and has a better closet."

"Yeah! This'll be great!" I shouted, jumping around excitedly.

We worked on the house for the rest of the morning, and by 10:00 we had gotten all of the rooms cleared out and swept up. We had also covered most of the floors with the rugs and stolen some gardening equipment from our new neighbor. We would have taken his paint too, but he only had white. So I hurried over to the store and bought a ton of paint while Dani organized the stuff we bought. Before we began painting we changed into some normal ninja clothing, so we wouldn't get paint on our skin-tight-body-suits, and also because they seemed to frighten people.

Dani was wearing blue jeans, and a grey jacket over her red and yellow patterned shirt. I was wearing grey cargo pants and a pretty green striped 3/4 sleeve shirt. Just as we opened up a can of sunny yellow paint Dani jerked up, her eyes unfocused, My Jedi senses told me that she was remembering something.

"Ali, weren't we supposed to meet ream 7 for training this morning?"

"Yeah! At seven o'clock! Kakashi-sensei told us not to be late!" I shouted, hopping around with my paintbrush.

"Oh my Giddy Gods Under drawers! It's 10:00! We're so late! Grab your weapons and lets go!" Dani shouted, racing for the fridge. I stuffed my spud launcher in a backpack and walked calmly towards the door. Dani rushed out of the kitchen, screaming about being three hours late. We jogged down the streets to training ground 3, where we were greeted by a very angry team 7.

"You're even later than Kakashi-sensei was! You beat him by a whole hour!" Sakura screeched.

"It is essential for a ninja to be punctual." Kakashi said with a U-eyed smile.

"Bull shit!" Dani shouted, going into defensive mode, "We were here five hours ago waiting for you! Then we found an orphaned and malnourished chipmunk. We had to help it but we didn't have any chipmunk food. So then we went to the pet store to get some, but the chipmunk aisle had been invaded by Nazi...shoelaces! So it took us forever to get the chipmunk food. We had to lay siege to the store and everything! But eventually the shoelaces drowned in the fish tank and we got the food. The baby chipmunk was so happy he skipped away singing with some butterflies." By the end of Dani's tale the entire team 7 was in tears.

"That was the most touching story I've ever heard!" Kakashi said, wiping away a tear, "We should all learn from your selfless and compassionate ways!"

I looked around at the sobbing team, completely lost. "But Dani, we never did any of that. We cooked the last chipmunk we ran into. With some Basil!" Dani tried desperately to shut me up as team 7 paused in mid sob, but I dodged her and continued. "This morning we made a huge nice breakfast and cleaned the house!"

"You WHAT!?" Kakashi said, glaring at Dani.

"Well look who finally decided to show up!" Dani said, switching track in the blink of an eye, a standard Jr. Companion tactic.

"Yeah, so can we begin practice already?" I said, this time catching on and playing along.

"What? But...hn..you...I...oh never mind." Kakashi said, despairing of ever competing with 'Dani Logic' as it had come to be known.

"Are you quite done wasting our time now Mr. Elmo?" Dani said, doing her best imitation of a frumpy old lady.

"Whatever. Today you will have your first test." Kakashi said, wisely deciding to move on before Dani could attempt to further confuse him, "To pass you must get a bell," Kakashi continued, holding up four bells for us to see, "I don't have enough for each you so whoever does not get a bell will be sent back to the academy. You have until noon. Beginning now."

And with that he poofed away. Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura quickly ran and hid in the forest, while Dani and I remained where we were. Dani then looked at me quizzically.

"What did Kakashi-sensei tell us to do?"Dani asked me, clearly, this was a test of her own.

"We have until noon to get a bell." I said confidently.

"How?"

"He didn't specify, though he meant for us to assume that we had to get it from him."

"So, what do we do now?" Dani asked, clearly thrilled that I had noticed Kakashi–sensei's slip.

"We take advantage of it!" I said happily.

"Good, you keep things here busy, while I go find some bells." And with that, Dani poofed away.

* * *

I was thrilled that Ali had figured it out. As I jogged towards the nearest craft store I glowed with happiness, why I didn't just poof there directly I don't know, I guess I just felt like a bit of a jog. Ali was fast becoming a wonderful Jr. Companion, she had done a wonderful job of abusing the spirit of what Kakashi-sensei had said with exacting literalness. I walked into the building named 'Toby's Crafts' and rummaged through the various stuffs on the shelves until I found what I was looking for, and 89 cent bag of fifty or so bells. I paid the clerk and began towards the training area, where Ali was surely creating quite a lot of confusion.

* * *

After Dani left I decided to go and find Sakura. She wasn't completely hopeless yet, perhaps with some help she could decide to focus on training rather than looks. I found her without much trouble, she was hiding in a tree. 

"What's with you ninjas and trees?" I asked, poofing right next to her. Amazingly enough, she didn't scream or fall off the branch. 'Oh well, there's always next time.' I reminded myself.

"Oh...hi Ali. Where's Dani?" Sakura asked politely.

"Uh...she's around. I'm not really sure where." I said, waving my arm at the forest training area in general, recalling my favorite Jr. Companion saying: 'We don't lie and we aren't crazy. We are only vague or extremely literal, depending on which better serves our purpose.'

"Oh...that's nice..." Sakura said, not really listening because she was too busy scanning the area for Sasuke. "So...do you guys have a plan to get the bells?"

"YEAH!! It's fool proof, you wanna help us?" I asked, hoping to distract her from Sasuke.

"Hmmm...not really, Sasuke-kun and I will be fine on our own." She said, paying absolutely no attention to me.

"Oh, so you and Sasuke teamed up?" I asked, wondering if she though I was stupid enough to believe that the 'Uchiha Avenger' had or ever would team up with anyone.

"Uh...well, uh, you see..." She stammered out, looking upset and just a touch lonely.

"Look, Sasuke's not about to team up with anyone. Why don't you work with Dani and me. We could even get Naruto to help out." I said, trying to make her cheer up. "We'll do fine without Sasuke-teme." Bad move.

"How DARE you!" Sakura shouted, winding up for a punch. Before she could land what looked to be a killer blow I poofed away, landing on Kakashi-sensei.

My aim was still a touch off, so instead of landing beside him like I had intended, I ended up sitting on his shoulders. I squeaked and clung to his hair, I never thought that it was so high up here!

"What-cha doin'?" I asked after I was well over my bought of vertigo.

"I'm reading." He said, pretending that he wasn't startled by my sudden appearance.

"ARG!" I shouted, completely losing it. I had failed to startle Sakura and Kakashi and they both had ignored me! "You ninjas are so irritating with your trees and your not listening-ness!" I rummaged through my bag, looking for my mutton leg. Just before I found it Kakashi turned into a log. So I sat on the log for a bit, trying to look like this was all part of a dashingly clever plan, which, in fact it was, I though, trying to comfort myself. Just as I was about to poof off Sasuke walked by and paused to smirk at me, which for anyone else is the equivalent of pointing and laughing while rolling around on the ground in hysterics. That was the final straw. I yanked my spud launcher out of my bag and shot him in the head twice before he managed to get out of range. I followed him in a hugely wrathful mood until I happened to pass a very strange tree. 'Never mind, that's just Naruto' I thought. But it was Naruto's peculiar situation theat caused me to pause on my enraged pursuit for a closer look. Poor Naruto was hanging form his foot, which happened to be ensnared in one of Kakashi's traps.

"Hey Naruto! How's it doin'?" I said, forgetting about all of the painful and anatomically impossible things I had been planning to Sasuke, for now at least.

"Not too good." Naruto said, sounding hugely depressed, "Nothing I've tried works. I know that this is a teamwork exercise, but Sakura and Sasuke wouldn't help me and I couldn't find you or Dani, even though you're not on my team."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're not as stupid as you act?" I asked him, thinking about all the advantages I had gleaned from a stupid facade over the years.

"Nope. So...would it be all right if I teamed up with you and Dani?" Naruto asked hopefully. I looked at him wondering if I should let him in on the plan, or just tell him a lie.

"Dani's out getting some bells, I'm the distraction." I said after a few seconds of inner debate, "I would love your help."

"Great!" Naruto said, cutting himself down from the trap, "What can I do?"

"Well, if you could make a clone look like Dani that would be a huge help." I said, deeply envious of his chakra manipulation abilities.

"Sure." Naruto said, and there stood 'Dani'. "Hey, why didn't you do that before?" Naruto asked me.

"Well I would have, but you see, Dani and I cannot manipulate or use our chakra. No one in our world can. We have to rely on the Force, physical strength, and cunning." I explained, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, that would suck!" Naruto said, thinking about just how much a ninja relies on chakra. "So you two must be really useless when it comes to ninjutsu and genjutsu huh."

"Yeah, and on top of that Dani has all of the esteemed strength of a jellybean and I have low endurance, coupled with the attention span of most fruits." I said, hanging my head ever so slightly. But soon enough (approximately 4.8883461904 seconds) later I was back in my super happy mood, thanks to the short attention span. Who says it's a curse?

"But we do okay with just that." I said, grabbing hold of Naruto and 'Dani', "Now, let's go attack Kakashi!"

I again landed on Kakashi's head, while Naruto and 'Dani' ended up upside-down a few yards away. I tried to chew on Kakashi's hair, as that seemed to upset ninjas, but ended up gagging on it instead. By then, Naruto and 'Dani' had righted themselves and came at Kakashi.

He grabbed my ankles, planning to hit then away using me as a bat. Unfortunately for him I managed to poof away, leaving him looking like a moron, trying to hit Naruto and 'Dani' with nothing. Unfortunately he poofed away before either of them could land a punch.

"Well, what should we do now?" Naruto asked when Kakashi didn't return.

"Uh..." I said, completely at a loss, Dani should have returned with the bells by now. 'Think Ali! WHAT WOULD CHUCK DO?!!' I thought to myself.

"Now we shall attack and decapitate Horny Carrots!" I shouted, already scanning the area for said carrots.

"Huh?" Naruto said, completely lost.

"And when we are done we can force people to eat the mangled corpses!" I said, really starting to warm to the idea, thank you Chuck.

"Okay I guess, so...where do we find the carrots?"

* * *

I had almost made my way back to the training ground when my Companion senses alerted me to a presence behind me. I whirled around, brandishing my light saber. But no one was there. I continued walking, wondering how far the presence would follow. When the presence had been behind me for about three blocks I lost patience and jumped into a garbage can. There were some shuffling footsteps, and then there was a light thud on the lid of my garbage can. 

'Oh no! They're trying to lock me in!' I thought, panicking. I then threw open the lid and leapt out with my light saber in hand. I spun around when I saw no one in front of me, and found myself in an empty street.

'But I was sure that I was being followed.' I thought furiously. Just then the lid of the garbage can clattered back down, revealing Cougar mushed up against the wall of a near by building, where I had no doubt thrown her when I leapt out. She slid to the ground and wobbly walked over to me, her eyes slightly crossed.

"I'm so sorry Cougar! I left you at home didn't I?"

"Melwrl" Cougar managed to slur out, obviously still dazed from her meeting with the wall.

"Oh you sweet kitten! You followed me all the way here!" I said hugging her to me, and beginning to walk back to the training ground.

"Wait! Why am I walking? I could have just poofed there! Duh!" I said, hitting myself on the forehead and poofing back to the training field.

If I had been in less of a rush and had continued walking I might have noticed the ANBU hidden just around the corner, wiping the sweat from his brow after he came so close to being discovered.

I appeared on the middle pole where the test had begun, and began looking around for Ali. I soon spotted her, and drawing nearer I noticed that she was with Naruto, and together they were holding down Sasuke, trying to feed him decapitated carrots.

"Hey-ya!" I said, stashing the bells and Cougar and helping to pin Sasuke's arms. "I got the bells."

"Took ya long enough." Ali grunted as she tried to pry open Sasuke's mouth.

"Well we forgot Cougar again so that slowed me down a bit."

"Oh." Ali said, giving up on opening Sasuke's mouth and just sticking the carrot up his nose. "Well, I'm bored."

With that Ali jumped off him and poofed on top of one of the logs. I pulled Naruto out of the way before he got kicked by the enraged Sasuke, who immediately ran back into the forest. We walked over to Ali, to wait out the last hour and a half before the test was over.

The day was crawling by, and my nose was sunburned. We had each taken one of the free logs and were trying to hide it their shrinking shadows. Just when I was about to send Cougar to attack Kakashi-sensei he poofed over to us, Sasuke and Sakura emerging from the forest looking defeated soon after.

"Well, I'm very disappointed. None of you managed to get a bell." Kakashi said. Sasuke and Sakura hung their heads dejectedly while Ali and I tried (and failed) to hide our laughter.

"Actually Kakashi-sensei, we got enough bells for every genin in Kohona." I said, skipping over to him. When he only raised an eyebrow, knowing better than to make a verbal reply, I continued. "See, Ali and Naruto distracted you, while I went and bought these!" I said, brandishing my package of bells. "You never said that we had to get the bells from you. Actually, you never even told us to get a specific type of bell, you made this way too easy!"

Sasuke and Sakura gasped, jaws in the dirt, while Kakashi only laughed.

"I had a feeling you would come up with an insightful solution."

"Damn Skippy!" Ali shouted, bouncing around like a maniac.

"Well, what are you going to do with your extra bells?" Kakashi asked in a more serious tone.

"Ali?" I asked, testing her yet again. But instead of answering Ali snatched the bells, poofed to Sasuke, stuck on in his ear, poofed to Sakura, and handed her one. Then she even poofed onto Kakashi's head and attempted to stick the bell in one of his pouches. When that didn't work she stuck it down his mask.

"Hah! Take that you people with your sneaky questions and your trees!!" She shouted, grabbing a lunch box.

**The End...ish

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Yay! I got the chapter up!! I hope that you all like it, and that you will **REVIEW!!!**

And for those of you who have recently read the manga or seen the amine, yes, I do know that Kakashi does in fact tell them specifically to get the bells from him. But I decided to change it. Touf.

Please review, and for those of you who have read the other chapters a while ago, I made some changes to them and they are tons better now so go read the new and improved versions!

Well, I am off to some well deserved sleep...nighty night!!!


	5. Sasuke's New Worst Day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, Star Wars, or any of the other wonderful stuff that I use in my story.

**RasenganRendan:** Thanks for all of the reviews, I think Arashi will begin to show up in this chapter. Again, thanks for all of the patience and support.

**Neassa:** Thanks to you also, all of your awesome suggestions and tips really got me excited about this story, though because of the lack of reviews, I'm not very sure that many others are too excited.

**Ali:** Thanks for putting up with me an all of my...ness.

Begin the Chappy!!!

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**Chapter Five: Sasuke's New Worst Day**

After lunch Kakashi told them all to come back tomorrow, at the same time, they would begin training after Ali and Dani had sparred with Naruto and Sasuke, so Kakashi could figure out exactly how good they were.

Everyone got up ans dusted themselves off, then started towards their varied destinations. Because Naruto's apartment was in the same direction as Dani and Ali's house, they walked together, talking about the test and the training to come.

"Yeah! I can't wait to go on missions! It'll be awesome!" Naruto said happily, hands behind his head in that oh so familiar pose.

"Uh-huh!" Ali agreed enthusiastically, "I can't wait to go on a real Ninja mission, Companion missions are so chaotic. It will be nice to have a somewhat normal objective for once."

"What kind of missions do Companions go on anyways?" Naruto asked, his interest thoroughly peaked.

"Well, one of my first missions was a trip with Agent Anita. I don't think we really had an objective, I was fresh out of the academy and she was taking me to Bathaboobia, where she lives. Anywho, we had a nasty run in with a couple of Nazi crocodiles, and then we got lost on some trail named Beef Jello Banana. When we realized that we weren't really on some mountain in the middle of nowhere, but in a park, so we purged it of the ankle sock wearers. Agent Anita was about to kill some ugly chick when we met up with Arthur King of the Brittons. In the battle he was gravely wounded, and before he died, he passed on these words of wisdom: 'Remember, Baby Jesus Loves You.' And that was about it." Dani said, a dreamy reminiscent look in her eyes.

"Uh..." Was all Naruto could say.

"Please," Ali said, rolling her eyes, "That wasn't even the strangest one, do you remember that time you had to stalk the slug who wanted to herd Giant Asparagus?

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that." Dani said, grimacing at the recollection of that particular mission.

They continued in contented silence and eventually, Dani and Ali noticed that many of the villagers were giving Naruto death glares.

"Hey, what's wrong with them?" Ali asked after they passed a particularly hateful group.

"Oh, I'm sorry, please, just ignore them." Naruto said dejectedly. But Ali was fed up with the glares, and was already set on giving them a piece of her mind.

"You." She growled, pointing menacingly at the offending group, "You smell like cheese and mosquitoes dance in your miasma. Go take a bath you appalling elephant!" The villagers only glared at Ali, hardly understanding what it was that she had said. Naruto tried to drag her away, muttering about how they didn't want trouble and should just keep going. Unfortunately for the villagers, Ali was afraid of only one thing, and it wasn't them. She broke free of Naruto's hold, and came at them with her meat cleaver.

"Ali," Dani said, knowing better than to try to stop her completely, "that could be just a touch extreme. Why don't you try unarmed."

"But they've got pitchforks!" Ali whined, really wanting to hack off some limbs to teach them a lesson. When Dani only looked at her she stashed her meat cleaver and punched one of the villagers in the nose. Because she was stronger than Dani, possessing the strength of an enraged turkey, she had some effect. She then continued to bite and scratch the rest of the group. Dani and Ali had discovered that immature and underhanded fighting styles like these worked the best against the Kohona villagers, the shinobi were too fast, but then again they preferred to avoid confrontation with stronger people. When Ali was eventually tired, and some of the less fortunate of the villagers had been carried away to the hospital for rabies shots, she solemnly walked back to Dani and Naruto.

"Can we get some ice cream?" She asked quietly. Ali was always depressed after a confrontation.

"Yeah! Naruto, you're coming too." Dani said, hoping to cheer up her two friends.

* * *

"So, is anyone here nice to you?" Ali asked around a face full of ice cream. They were all sitting in a booth in a small ice cream shop, each enjoying a double scoop of their favorite flavor. 

"Yeah!" Naruto said quickly, trying to reassure his two new friends, "I've got Sarutobi, Iruka-sensei, and Arashi (from 'the Arashi Chronicles' by RasenganRendan, I will be trying to introduce him to this story, yes I have permission, the timelines will be off, but you should go read it anyways!), and now you two!"

"Who's Arashi?" Ali asked wondering why she hadn't met him yet.

"Well he's my best friend and he's really cool! He left a couple months ago to travel a bit. I got one of his letters yesterday actually, he said that he bought a boat and is going to learn to sail." Naruto said, feeling happier at the though of his friend.

* * *

"Can we please stop now?" Ali whined. After their ice creams with Naruto Dani and Ali had returned to the house and Dani had forced Ali to help her paint. 

"We only have your room left," Dani said, just as tired as Ali but determined to get done, " lets finish that and then we can go to sleep."

Ali mumbled to herself as they left Dani's room which they had just painted half yellow with red polka dots and half red with yellow polka dots. They walked into Ali's room, which had a black base coat already.

"So what do you want to paint it?" Dani asked, wondering why Ali had wanted the black base coat in the first place.

"Well, I was thinking of making it space themed, only have the stars and whatnot smeared so it looks like you're falling." Ali said beaming.

'Uh, leave it to Ali to pick a complicated design.' "Well then lets get started." Dani said, not looking forward to it at all.

When they were finally done they both curled up on the rugs in the living room where they had made a temporary nest because they hadn't thought to buy beds. Buying furniture was on tomorrow to-do-list.

When they eventually woke up in the morning they went out to buy furniture, and had just managed to poof it to the house when they again realized that they were late for training.

* * *

"Sorry that we're late again!" I said as we poofed to the training ground. 

"Hey! No problem, Kakashi-sensei hasn't even shown up yet." Naruto said, bouncing over to us, visibly realived that he was no longer alone with his team mates. There was a poof of smoke, and Kakashi appeared on the field.

"Good, everyone's here. Ali, you will be fighting Naruto, Dani you will be fighting Sasuke. I would like to see exactly how good you are, but please try not to hurt each other." He said, sitting with his back to one of the logs, " You can begin...now."

* * *

Naruto and I circled each other, neither of us really wanting to fight. There were some explosions in the distance as Sasuke set off some explosive tags. 

'Oh man! I really wish we could have gone one at a time! I want to see what Dani will do to Sasuke!' This thought thoroughly distracted me, and Naruto took the opportunity to kick my feet from under me. "I yield!" I shouted, really not wanting to get my butt kicked.

"You can't yield Ali." Kakashi said with an evil smirk, knowing just as well as I did that even Naruto was stronger than me.

"DAMN YOUR EYES!!" I shrieked back, trying to throw a convenient lump of dirt at his head. Unfortunately, my aim when not using my spud launcher was pathetic, so the dirt lump flew two feet, hitting the unsuspecting Cougar. But, that ended up working in my favor because Cougar attacked the nearest thing to him, Kakashi-sensei. I laughed while Kakashi-sensei struggled with Cougar, and eventually he had to summon one of his nin-dogs to frighten her off.

All of this time Naruto had also forgotten about our fight, laughing at Kakashi-sensei was that fun. But, when Cougar escaped, we again resumed the fight. We threw a couple of half hearted punches, and I poofed around a bit, but things were going pretty slow. When I heard Dani start to shout, I nearly panicked. 'AAA!!! I really don't want to miss her fight!!' so with that thought, I poofed behind Naruto and attempted to knock him out.

When that didn't work I suction cupped to his back, pinning his arms. Naruto ran around for a bit, but it was pretty clear that without a lot of help he wasn't going to get me off anytime soon. Having seen Naruto's incredible stamina in action, I realized that it would take quite a while before he got tired, so, to speed up the fight, I dropped off of his back and attempted to hog tie him. That didn't work either, and soon enough he had me pinned, with one knee between my shoulder blades and my arms behind my back.

The fight was clearly over, so we went and sat with Kakashi-sensei and Sakura to watch the end of Dani and Sasuke's fight.

* * *

As soon as Kakashi-sensei said 'now' Sasuke threw a kuni with an exploding tag atached at me and jumped away with a satisfied smirk. I grabbed it and poofed just behind where he had landed and dropped it down his shirt. Really, he shouldn't wear such a big collar. He was just begging for it. He ran around for a bit, trying to get it out and when he finally did, he threw it at me again. This time I just poofed away, not really feeling like trying to catch the sharp kuni again. I poofed into a tree, and he blew some fire at me. I poofed into a different tree and then Sasuke made a terrible mistake. 

"I am the best. You can't beat me. You and Ali are useless, and your powers are lame. I AM THE LAST OF THE UCHIHAS!!!" He said with that awful, ugly smirk.

"ARG!! You ugly locust!! Stupid pusillanimous cow!" I shouted, completely beyond mere anger. Self confidence was one thing but this was well beyond me tolerance level.

I gathered lightning into my hand, something that I hardly ever bother to do, and shot it at him. It hit his chest and crawled up to his head. His hair reacted the same way that everyone's hair reacts when introduced to massive amounts of static electricity. It fuzzed, clinging to his face and even wrapping up into his nose and mouth. I could hear Ali and Naruto laughing in the back ground, they must have finished quickly. While Sasuke was still fighting with his hair I poofed over and held a kuni to his throat, signaling the end of the match in my favor.

When Kakashi nodded I went and sat with Ali and Naruto, leaving Sasuke to deal with his hair. Eventually he just dumped his water bottle over his head, solving the fuzz problem. Now that he could see, he looked around, spotting Ali and Naruto.

"Heh, just as I thought, you two are such weaklings." He said, trying to reaffirm his status.

"What!? You watch your mouth or I will pull out your toe nails and make you eat them!" Ali shouted, insulted that he would call them weak when he had been defeated so embarrassingly by Dani.

"Hn. Looks like you even need girls to stand up for you Naruto." Sasuke said, trying to ignore Ali's grisly threat.

"You will regret that for the rest of your life." Ali said, perfectly calm, the worst of signs. She beckoned me and Naruto over, a scowl on her face. We stood in a huddle, waiting for Ali to speak, While a frightened Sakura and Kakashi looked on.

"Sasuke has betrayed us for the last time. He must be punished. I propose that a pants-off be immediately instated." Ali finally said, her words clipped with anger.

"Wow. That's kinda drastic don't you think?" I asked Ali, amazed that she was so angry.

"What's a pants-off?" Naruto asked, just a little worried.

"Well, we might as well." I said, thinking that it would be good for the team if Sasuke's ego took some massive damage. "A pants-off is a competition. For 24 hours we will attempt to de-pants Sasuke. In the end, whoever has the most points will win. The points system is as follows: 1 point for de-pants-ing him, and 1 point for every person other than him and yourself present."

"Cool! Can I join in?" Naruto said, thinking that humiliating Sasuke would be fun.

"Yeah." Ali said, already eyeing Sasuke, "It begins, Now!" Ali then poofed over and reappeared next to Sasuke, whom she promptly de-pants-ed.

"Yeah! 5 points for me!" she said, dancing around as Sasuke desperately tried to pull his pants up.

Naruto and I walked back over to the group, with Ali still doing her victory dance. Kakashi was looking slightly worried, and when he managed to regain his voice he called me over.

"What was that about?" He asked, clearly worried over the safety of his student.

"Oh, nothing. Sasuke just chose the wrong day to mess with Ali and will be having a very embarrassing next 24 hours as a result that's all." I said. When I saw Kakashi open his mouth, as though to forbid it, I hurriedly added that it was all for his own good, and the good of the team, otherwise I wouldn't have allowed it.

* * *

All the rest of that day Sasuke had the strangest feeling that he was being followed. And as you already have guessed, (at least I hope so!) he was. By none other than Dani, Ali, Naruto, and the five ANBU assigned to follow Dani and Ali. 

Sasuke was slumped at his favorite food stand, eating a rice ball, when Ali suddenly poofed next to him.

"Quick! There's a rabid fangirl after you!" Ali shouted gesturing wildly. Sasuke leapt to his feet, ready to run, when Ali again pulled his pants down around his ankles.

"WOOO!!" Ali shouted triumphantly, her arms in the air but still managing to count heads, "That makes ten points total for me!!!" Sasuke had by now managed to pull his pants back up and was glaring at Ali, trying to decide the best method of torture. Just as he had decided to hang her from a tree and use her as a pinata Naruto came running up. And to Sasuke's complete and utter horror, pulled his pants back down.

"Let's see," Naruto said, counting heads like Ali had, "That makes, fifteen points!"

"What!" Ali shouted, doing a recount herself, and finding to her disappointment that all of her shouting had attracted more people, nine to be exact. "Fine. But I will win."

And with that she poofed to Great Potato knows where. Sasuke turned on Naruto, clearly beyond pissed. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING!!??" He bellowed. Naruto cringed, and decided that it probably would do him no good to explain the situation, and seeing only one solution, ran.

Sasuke of course gave chase, following Naruto ruthlessly, intending to break a couple ribs when he caught up with him. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Naruto was very used to being chased through streets, though mostly by villagers, and knew every alley and back way blindfolded. And with his stamina added into the equation, well to put it kindly Sasuke never stood a chance of catching him.

When Naruto finally decided that he was far enough away from Sasuke that he didn't have to worry, he sat down under the first shady tree that he passed by.

Just as he was about to get up and go find Sasuke again, Ali poofed next to him. Naruto was becoming accustomed to Dani and Ali's sudden comings and goings, so he wasn't too startled.

"Hey-ya. What do you want?" He asked, wondering if Ali would really go so far as to attack him to win. Well, to tell that truth, she would. But luckily for Naruto Ali had something else in mind.

"I just had the most wonderfully evil idea!" She said happily, bouncing around and clearly unable to hold still anymore, "The only thing is, I need your help. I'll split the points with you and everything! I just want to make sure that Dani doesn't win and this will totally blow her out of the competition."

"Okay but...isn't she your sister? Why are you so set on making sure that she doesn't win?"

"Friendly sibling rivalry." Ali said shrugging carelessly, "Now here's what we do..."and she went on to explain a very devious and truly brilliant plan. Little did they know, a shadowy figure was perched in a nearby tree, listening to every word they said.

* * *

"Everything on my end is ready." Ali said into the tiny radio she found in her back pack. 

"Alright, I'm bringing him now." Naruto's voice crackled over the other end.

Naruto then jumped out in front of Sasuke, making a desperate lunge at his pants, firstly to piss him off enough into following, and secondly to try and get more points than Ali. While Naruto missed, he did succeed in enraging Sasuke. This time when Sasuke chased after Naruto, he wasn't trying to loose Sasuke in the maze of streets, Naruto was leading him to Ali.

Naruto raced into the training field where Ali and Sasuke's 5,000 fangirls were waiting. Once he judged to be far enough in, Naruto spun around and tried to tackle Sasuke. However he was quicky beaten off, flying into the trunk of a nearby tree. Ali then poofed out of nowhere, glomping Sasuke and effectively pinning his arms. While Sasuke was struggling, having seen all of the fangirls and guessing Ali and Naruto's plan, Dani poofed onto the scene. And, in front of roughly 5,000 screaming fangirls, she de-pants-ed him.

"Yeah! That's 5,397 points for me!" Dani said, skipping around happily.

"Nuh-uh!" Ali said, just a touch desperately, "How do you know how many fangirls are here?"

"I counted when they came in." Dani said simply.

"Okay, but how did you find out about our plan?" Naruto asked.

"Well eavesdropping of course!" Dani said, bouncing around in glee.

"I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU!!!" Sasuke roared, managing to pull his pants up, much to the dismay of the fangirls.

What followed his outburst, well, it does not bear thinking of. Let it suffice to say that Dani, Ali, and Naruto were later removed from the scene by medic ninjas, who had been alerted by the ANBU.

* * *

The next morning, they had all managed to regain consciousness, and were trying to bully the medic staff into releasing them early. Eventually everyone, including Dani and Naruto, had gotten tired of Ali's endless and pointless rambling, and they all were discharged. But not before Ali had succeeded in swiping a pair of crutches. 

They all took their time, wandering through the streets, and in general being lazy. Until that is, they remembered that today was their first official mission, and they were hopelessly late.

* * *

WOOOOO!!! End of the chapter! I'm sorry that this took me so long, I will have to try to update more. This could very well be the longest chapter I've written, so tell me if you like it, if you hate it, any sort of feed back is welcome. Sorry if this chapter is a bit evil, I was listening to that creepy organ music while writing it, so I was in a pretty merciless mood. 

Please please please please please please please PLEASE review!!!


	6. Alfred

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the other stuff that might pop up in my story and already belongs to someone else.**

**RasenganRendan: **Yay!! Thanks forever more for letting me use Arashi!! I really really can't wait! He's going to make my life so much easier. Dani and Ali's antics need to be controlled to an extent, before they get kicked out of Kohona for setting the wrong something/someone on fire.

**Neassa:** Thanks for catching that number slip up, I really should be more careful with stuff like that.

THIS IS IN TRIBUTE TO MY TWO REVIEWERS, YAY YOU GET COOKIES!!!

**

* * *

Chapter six: Alfred**

Ali slumped against a nearby tree, grumbling on about how 'D' was easily the worst letter in the world, let alone the mission rankings.

"Vaca, do we have to? I'm tired!" Ali shouted into her walkie talkie.

"For the last time. Yes you have to complete this mission and I am not a cow so stop calling me Vaca!" Kakashi's voice said back irritably.

"Okay I love ya bye-bye." Ali said, "VACA!!!" and with that being said she switched off her walkie talkie.

"You know Ali, maybe we should fill his pillow with raspberry jelly." Dani said, coming over to sit with her, while her walkie talkie made angry spluttering sounds before she turned it off too.

Things had gone down hill for Kakashi quickly. For weeks Ali had refused to be parted from her crutches, terrorized their clients, and had in general been a pain. She had also taken to calling him Vaca, or cow. At first Dani had tried to be a mediator between the two, often restraining Ali from going so far as to sabotage his house. But, after he made an unwise remark about the effectiveness of her artichokes, well, lets say that Dani wasn't so set on being nice anymore. On top of it all, everyone had been bored quickly with their D ranked missions. Pulling weeds seemed to have little to do with developing combat skills, something that Dani and Ali continually pointed out.

"Well, we might as well get this over with. I can't believe that we have to find some lost cat." Dani said, getting to her feet, "We'll check the traps first."

Dani and Ali bounced through the forest, checking pit, rope and glue (like the sticky spider ones, only larger) traps as they went. And what did all of their hard work get them? Three squirrels and a badger. But when they came upon the last one, a particularly large puddle of glue, they found a struggling cat.

"Yeah!!" Ali shouted, doing cartwheels, "We got her!!"

"Hold on." Dani said, grabbing Ali before she cartwheeled right into her own trap, "Is that even the right cat?"

"Right. I'll check." Ali said, wading through the glue to the unhappy cat, "Yup! There's the ribbon." Most people would be completely stuck in the mess of glue, but Ali had developed a rudimentary control of stickiness, one of the benefits of her Companion Powers no doubt.

"Well then grab her and lets go, I want to go home." Dani whined.

"Okay, I got her." Ali said, disentangling the cat,'Tiger'.

"We got the stupid cat, can we have a real mission now?" Dani said into her walkie talkie, which she had turned back on.

"You can ask the Hokage if you really want to. We'll meet up at the tower." Kakashi said, glad that team 7 was peacefully planting potatoes.

"Oy! Kakashi! We're done too!" Naruto's voice interrupted.

"Well then we'll all meet up at the tower." Kakashi said, regretting having suggested asking for better missions now that Naruto was coming along. Dani and Ali were still too afraid of Sarutobi to make much of a fuss, but Naruto was another story.

* * *

"Well, you can babysit, or go grocery shopping." The third said, smiling evilly.

"WHAT!?!" Naruto shouted, "I want to go on a real mission, something important!!!"

"Naruto! You are a beginner, you can't go on big missions yet. You have to work your way up! And show some respect when you talk to the Hokage!" Iruka shouted back, worried that Naruto might get in big trouble for being so disrespectful.

"It's alright Iruka. Perhaps they could handle this low C mission." Sarutobi said, smiling at Naruto's enthusiasm, "I trust none of you would complain if I gave you a more difficult mission, would you?"

"Of course not!" Ali shouted, bouncing through the room.

"Very well then. Your mission is to guard Mr. Tazuna until he has returned to his village and completed building his bridge." Sarutobi said

Just then a very drunk and grumpy man entered the room, Mr. Tazuna.

"What! These brats are supposed to protect me? They look like rabbit food!" He slurred.

"Who are you calling brats drippy nose?!" Ali shouted, considering throwing her mutton leg at him.

"Ali, how many times do I have to tell you? We..." Kakashi said, waiting for her to finish his sentence.

"We treat the stupid, ignorant, swine that hired us with respect." Ali said loudly, hoping that Kakashi might just get in a little trouble for her choice of adjectives.

"NO!" Kakashi shouted, "We treat the honored and important client that hired us with respect."

"Well, if that's all, you can go." Sarutobi said, really not wanting to get stuck in the middle of another shouting match.

"We'll leave in an hour. All of you should pack equipment for about a week." Kakashi said, sharing the third's sentiment.

"Yeah, okay." Ali said, as they all trooped out of the building, "Will we need a tent or anything?"

"Yes. It will take us roughly two days to walk there." Kakashi said, a little startled that Ali had asked a reasonable question.

"Okay, love ya Vaca see ya in an hour!" Ali said skipping backwards, in a much better mood now that they had a cool mission.

When Dani and Ali returned to the house they scrambled over the mountains of loose dirt that they had built while excavating a basement and burst through the front door, singing 'El Tango de Roxanne' from 'the Moulin Rouge'.

"ROXANNE!!!" Ali shouted, leaping up the stairs to her bedroom. Dani went down to the basement, through the hole in the livingroom floor that Ali had accidentally blasted there. They had decided that it would be too much effort to fill it in and re floor it, and because they were short on storage space they had dug a basement instead. How covering up a hole is more of a bother than digging a basement I for one have not a clue, but that's what Dani and Ali did.

Dani let herself drop down into the basement, a surprisingly long distance, and immediately began to rummage around in search of the camping stuff. When she finally had everything piled together she chucked it up into the living room, where Ali then divided it into their backpacks.

"Ready?" Dani asked, shouldering her own pack with a slight grimace. She hated backpacking.

"Yeah! I got everything! And we're a whole five minutes early too!" Ali said, prancing around like a loon on loon tablets.

"Only five minuets! We've gotta hurry!" Dani said, grabbing Ali's jacket and hauling her out the door.

"We're here!!" Ali shouted, skidding to a stop and nearly knocking Sasuke over.

"Get off of me you freak." Sasuke said, punching Ali a little harder than was perhaps necessary, he was still angry about the whole pants-off incident.

"Well howdy to you too Boogert!" Ali said, deciding that the best way to get even would be to cling to him until he was nearly insane. She also decided to refuse to acknowledge him as anything other than Boogert from that moment on.

"Good. We're all here on time." Kakashi said, poofing next to them and pulling Ali off of Sasuke before he stabbed her again.

"CAN WE GO NOW!?" Naruto bellowed, all of the excitement was getting to him, he couldn't wait to start the mission.

"I suppose, Dani and Ali will be in the front, Sakura and Naruto will stay with Tazuna, and Sasuke and I will take the rear." Kakashi said, trying to keep the warring factions as separate as possible, especially Ali and Sasuke.

They had been walking for about half an hour when Ali found it. A log to be exact. An old, rotting log. She picked it up like it was a priceless jewel and cradled it, and after a little inner debate named it Alfred.

"Ali, put the log down." Kakashi said, really not knowing how Dani could look so calm about her little sister singing love songs to a decomposing tree corpse.

"No." Ali said, spinning around and continuing to walk backwards so that she might shout at Kakashi, "Alfred is my buddy, and I won't leave him behind."

"Ali," Kakashi said, rubbing his eye in an attempt to dispel his growing headache, "Alfred is a log, now get rid of it. You need to keep your hands free in case we're attacked."

To this, Ali merely snorted and spun back around, continuing her song to Alfred. They traveled that way for the next three hours, and Kakashi was almost relieved when the mist nin attacked him. He quickly preformed a substitution jutsu, and, to Ali's horror, it was Alfred and not Kakashi who was torn to pieces.

"Alfred!!" Ali screamed, running to the supposed Kakashi, while the mist nin moved in on Naruto.

"Out of my way you ugly puddle!" Dani shouted, shoving past the nin and running to Ali, who was crouched over the dismembered log.

While Sasuke fought with the enemy nin Dani and Ali were busy trying desperately to glue Alfred back together, but all to no avail. When the nin went for Tazuna Sakura and Sasuke, and Kakashi cloths lined them Ali carefully picked up the pieces of Alfred. She set them at the side of the road reverently while Kakashi made his backhanded little remark about Naruto freezing.

"Yeah, and you two didn't do any better. You losers." Sasuke added. Before anyone else had a chance to react, Ali had whipped out her spud launcher and hit both Sasuke and Kakashi on the head.

"How dare you! You, you...ugly newspapers!!" Ali shouted, advancing on them with a menacing look.

"Uh...Dani?" Naruto asked in a small voice.

"What's up Whiskers?" Dani asked, addressing Naruto by his newest of nicknames.

"Could you get the bandages please? I got a cut on my hand." He asked in a small voice.

"Ali's the one with the bandages." Dani said, a little confused, but looking over at Ali, who was glaring like a world champ, she understood Naruto's reluctancy to approach her. "Hey Ali, gimme the bandages."

"Here." Ali said curtly, throwing the first aid kit to her.

"Alrighty, let's take a look at your hand Whiskers." Dani said, walking over to Naruto and pulling out the bandages.

"Those blades were poisoned. We need to get Naruto back to the village for medical attention. Also this mission is above our abilities." Kakashi said, trying to ignore Ali's menacing glare.

"Nah, he'll be okay, Whiskers is cool like that." Dani said smiling. Then she drove a kuni into his cut, bleeding out the poison, "Just be sure to be more careful next time."

And before anyone could see the cut already begin to heal Dani bound it up, pretending that she hadn't noticed the steam coming from it.

"You killed Alfred." Ali said, looking at Kakashi in a slightly stunned way.

"Alfred was a log. You can't kill a log." Kakashi said, rolling his eye at Ali's antics.

"Well then, I'm a gopher." Ali said, crossing her arms and sticking out her tongue, "And so is Dani."

"You're not going to go along with her, are you?" Kakashi asked Dani, a touch of hopefulness in his voice.

"Actually, I am. And you are a Parakeet." Dani said, putting away the fist aid and folding her arms.

"Okay then. Let's go!" Naruto said, by now completely in step with the crazy Companions.

So they continued on for a while, Dani and Ali rambling on about nothing to pass the time, sometimes shooting spits balls at the backs of Sasuke's or Kakashi's heads, singing random songs, and every once in a while making mud bunnies.

* * *

"We can camp here for now." Kakashi said wearily, glad that Dani and Ali would soon be asleep.

"Yeah! Come on Dani! Let's pitch the tent!" Ali shouted, spinning through the clearing, and knocking over Sasuke's half assembled tent by 'accident'.

"Alrighty then." Dani said, very tired but refusing to admit defeat and mellow out.

So everyone struggled with their tents for a while. Well, at least Naruto, Dani, and Ali did. Everyone else had little or no trouble. What trouble they did have was mostly to blame on Dani and Ali anyways.

When the tents were at last up, Kakashi lit a fire and they all sat around it in the quickly cooling night.

"Well, because there are ninjas after Mr. Tazuna, we will be posting a watch. I will take first watch, then Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Ali, and Dani in that order. Is that clear?" Kakashi asked, the last bit directed pretty pointedly at Ali.

"What are you implying?" Ali asked, about ready to give him a good crack on the head with her mutton leg.

"Nothing. Now, everyone had better get to bed, if any of you see anything suspicious while on your watch, wake me up first." Kakashi said quickly, recognizing the now familiar twitching of Ali's hand that suggested she wanted to smash something with her mutton leg, and rightly assuming that it was him.

"Okay! Nighty night Vaca! Burn in hell Boogert! I lurve ya Whiskers! Good night Stupid Ignorant Swine! Uh...who are you again?" Ali said, getting really confused when she saw Sakura. "Kakashi! You've already let the enemy attack us in our sleep! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Ali, that's Sakura. One of your team mates." Kakashi said, trying to shut her up.

"What! One of my 'mates'? I had no idea. Why did no one ever tell me that I was a lesbian and a polygamist? Why did no one stop me from marrying Boogert? I thought that I could trust you guys!" And with that Ali ran from the campground, clearly distraught at the thought of her supposed choice in 'mates'.

"Are you just trying to make my life hell?!" Dani shouted at Kakashi, "It will take me days to convince her that she's not a lesbian polygamist trapped in an unfortunate marriage with Boogert."

Dani then ran after Ali, and spent the next two watches convincing her that she was a Companion, not a lesbian polygamist married to Sasuke. When they eventually returned to the camp Sasuke and Sakura had just switched, so they had a little while to sleep.

A couple hours later Ali was awoken by Naruto to begin her reign of terror, I mean, her watch. The first five minuets passed relatively quietly, with Ali singing some strange song about tripping grannies down the stairs. Then, all hell broke loose.

"Kakashi!" Ali shouted, jumping at his tent in apparent alarm, and unfortunately missing the door. She landed on top of the tent instead of inside it, and the poles snapped, dropping Ali onto the groggy Copy nin.

"Whar...What! What!" Kakashi shouted, thrashing around trying to escape, convinced that they were under attack. The fact that Dani had awoke with the same conclusion and was currently attacking the nearest tree in a half asleep rage wasn't helping either. When he finally managed to escape the ensnaring tent and realized what was happening, he nearly strangled Ali.

"What did you do that for?" Kakashi snarled at Ali

"I got lonely. And I wanted to see how strong your tent was. It didn't last as long as I had hoped." Ali said innocently.

"Well, you have succeeded in waking everyone up. From now on, wake me up when you see something. Quietly." Kakashi said, rubbing his temples.

Everyone returned to their tents, and somehow managed to get to sleep. Ali sat on a rock, playing with a gumdrop and a pretzel to pass the time. Then, a shadow crossed the clearing before her, effectively distracting her from whatever she was doing with the gumdrop and pretzel. She quickly crawled into Kakashi's tent, which he had somehow managed to repair, and tried to decide on how to wake him up. Eventually she decided on the fog horn. She pulled it out of her backpack and was about to blast it in his ear when his one exposed eye slowly drifted open.

"What is it now Ali?" He asked, resigned to the fact he would get no sleep on her watch.

"I saw something." Ali whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

"And what was that?" Kakashi asked, resigned to his fate.

"I'm not sure. But it was big and lumpy." Ali whispered, looking completely serious.

"Okay, let's go check it out." Kakashi said, actually thinking that she might have really seen something of importance. He went to get out of his bedroll, and the tent chose that moment to collapse.

"AAHH!! RAPE!!" Ali screamed. Before Kakashi knew exactly what was going on the tent was thrown off of them, and he found himself facing a very pissed off Dani. She didn't even say anything. She just pulled Cougar out of her backpack by the tail, and proceeded to beat him about the head. Naruto, however, was a different bushel of radishes.

"Kakashi-sensei! What is going on!" He shouted, making it more an accusation than a question.

"Uhm...hee hee...my bad." Ali said sheepishly, "I guess I freaked out when the tent collapsed."

Fortunately for Kakashi, and the ANBU Ali had spotted, that put an end to Ali's days as night watchman, as well as the early morning disasters.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Ali asked for the billionth time that morning as they climbed off of the boat that had smuggled them onto the island.

"Yes Ali, Tazuna lives in this uninhabited clearing." Sasuke said irritably.

"I wasn't talking to you." Ali said, sticking out her tongue.

Just then a giant sword came flying through the air, preceded by Kakashi's worried comand to duck. When the sword embedded itself in a tree and a man landed on it Dani and Ali sat on the ground looking bored. The team stood by obediently as Kakashi and the stranger, Zabuza, fought for a bit. And didn't look the least worried when Kakashi was trapped and the clone came menacingly towards them.

"Uh...A little help guys!" Sakura said worriedly, glancing at them as they continued to sit in the mud.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks though." Ali said, writing crude suggestions in the mud with a stick.

"Yeah, you guys got this one. By the way Naruto, it's a great idea and will totally work." Dani said, giving Naruto the thumbsie upsie.

"Okay then!" Naruto said, throwing a giant shuriken to Sasuke. It took a moment for Sasuke to catch on, but he eventually got it and threw the 'shuriken' at Zabuza. When the shuriken turned into Naruto Zabuza was forced to dodge, thus releasing Kakashi from the Water Prison. Kakashi and Zabuza continued to fight for a while, Kakashi mirroring all of Zabuza's moves flawlessly. Just before Kakashi killed Zabuza, who had lost it at the sight of Ali trying to eat a tree, senbon needles embedded themselves in his neck. Zabuza's neck, that is. Even this development did not phase Ali and Dani in the least.

"So, where can we get some cheese?" Dani asked, looking up from the little mud bunny village they had constructed during the fight as Haku carried Zabuza away.

"You two were completely useless, and you were nothing more than a liability to the group and our mission." Kakashi said venomously.

"Well, look who has a stick up their ass." Dani muttered to Ali, unfortunately for the both of them, Kakashi has excellent hearing.

"You two will be patrolling the town for the rest of the mission." Kakashi said, completely exasperated, "Starting as soon as we get there. Do you understand me?!" And then he passed out from using his sharingan. Dani and Ali, feeling perfectly wretched (not) after his reprimand, grabbed his arms and legs, and between them carried him to Tazuna's house, only 'accidentally' hitting his head on a small rock or protruding tree root a couple times.

* * *

So, I was hoping to introduce Arashi, Dani and Ali's new team mate in this chapter, but it got really long so...yeah. Well, I hope that you liked it, I'm pretty desperate for reviews right now, so if you'd like to make my day all bright and sunny and happy then please, please PLEASE...REVIEW!!!

The End


	7. Piracy and Reunions

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Naruto or any of the other stuff that I might happen to use and is owned by someone else.**

**RasenganRendan:** This is it!! I really hope that I did a good job with Arashi, PLEASE tell me if something is off!!!

**Neassa:** Thanks for the reviews, I really love the support! You take the time to check over my story, and to make helpful suggestions, for which I am really and truly grateful!

**I have decided that I won't be updating until I get at least five reviews, so you not reviewing people need to review. Even two words. Just let me know that you're out there. Well okay, I **_**do**_** know that you're out there, but I would like a little more conformation.**

**The End.

* * *

**

**Chapter 7: Piracy and Reunions**

Because of our disobedience during the fight with Zabuza, Ali and I went out and patrolled the little water village after depositing Kakashi-sensei at Tazuna's house. The next day we would begin an intensive training regime, no doubt planned as further punishment, on top of our patrolling duties.

The sun had set only a few minuets ago and Ali and I had had a full day. We were on our way back to Tazuna's house, after a long day of wandering aimlessly through the village. We had, of course, managed to amuse ourselves. We traded secrets with pickpockets, chased frogs, had a long and deep conversation with various inanimate household items, and we had conducted our own parade. But now the sun was sinking into the sea and it was time for some dinner.

We were on our way back, and happened to be passing the docks when we heard it.

"Just give us the Fricken' Fraeken Boat you mangey son of an arthritic toad!"

Upon hearing these words I felt the blood drain from my face. I hadn't heard that voice, or those words since... no, it couldn't be! I grabbed Ali, who had also paused at the long unheard disembodied voice, and raced to the source, down in the docks.

"Anita!" I shouted, seeing my Companion Master and the source of all the ruckus. I hugged the lady in the skin tight body suit, who was currently threatening someone with a lightsaber, tears in my eyes, "Is it really you? Oh it's been so long!" Yes, Companion reunions are always this dramatic.

Anita hugged me tight, sobbing as well, "Oh my God! It's been ages!"

"A whole week!" I said, my voice muffed by her shoulder.

Eventually we could bare to be separated and I managed to look around. Not only was Anita present, but Rosie and Michael were standing just off to the side as well.

The tearful reunion continued, with Ali joining in, though keeping a good distance from Michael, as he is the only thing that she fears.

We were almost done when the guy that Anita had been threatening started to slide away, thinking to escape. Unfortunately Rosie spotted him and nabbed him before he managed to get very far. I spared a second to look at him, taking in his blue eyes, blond hair done Kakashi style, and green and black vest with black pants also Kakashi style. He seemed vaguely familiar...

"So, what are you guys doing here?" I asked, unable to pinpoint exactly why that guy looked so familiar.

"We're kidnaping that guy's boat." Michael said, "We'll name it the Toad and then sail around acting Piratey, even if a sloop is a tad small. But from there we will capture other boats, and soon we shall have the most feared fleet of pirates in the world! I, of course, will resume my post as the dread Captain Morgan, Anita will assume her post as the Busty Blond Pirate Wench, and Rosie shall don the title of The Sexy Spaz."

"Hey! That sounds cool! Can we go too? Please Dani!"

"Well, I suppose, if it's alright with Michael"

"Yay!!!"

"Alrighty then!" Anita said, resuming her threatening pirate stance, "Now, give us your booty! I mean your lovely tush! No! I mean your Boat. Yes, that's the one! Give us your boat!"

"Hang on a touch Anita!" I said, stopping her before she tried to attack the stranger, "That's Arashi from RasenganRendan's story! How'd you get here? This isn't your story!"

"I was out sailing on day and a storm blew me out here, and how do you know who I am?" He replied, looking completely confused.

"The 42sers told me." I replied simply.

"The who?" Arashi asked, trying to remember if he had ever met anyone by such a peculiar name.

"The forty two-sers, that's just something that they say when they can't or won't explain stuff." Michael explained. He wasn't a companion, but he was the dread pirate Captain Morgan as well as the infamous Urban Dart Ninja, and as such he knew many things.

"Okay..." Arashi said, absorbing such strange information, "So, you're not going to try to take my boat are you?"

"Wrong!" Rosie said in a singsong voice, attempting to push him into the water. Unfortunately for Rosie, Arashi was very strong and didn't fancy taking a dip at the moment. Fortunately for her, he was also a good guy and just knocked her feet out from under her rather than hurting her or throwing her off the pier.

"Well, I suppose you can come along then." Anita said, noticing his strength and deciding on the passive approach as she bounced onto his boat. Rosie, Michael, Ali, and I followed suit, trusting Anita's Companion instincts. We would have been in trouble, had Arashi not possessed a highly developed moral center, which is normally an advantageous thing for someone to have. Unless they are dealing with Companions, the insane, and the Ali. Yes, she is so insane she has officially been declared a state of mind.

"Raise Anchor!" Michael shouted, assuming his self-appointed role as Captain.

"What are you doing! You can't just take my ship!" Arashi said, ever so slightly amused by Ali's attempts to raise the anchor by shouting 'You heard him! Raise the anchor you mangey dog!'at a cannon, despite himself.

"Too late!" Michael shouted, jumping from his former post beside the tiller and showing Ali how to raise the anchor.

"Don't worry, despite all the talk, they probably couldn't defeat a tortoise, let alone cause any serious trouble." I told Arashi, seeing that he was about ready to throw us all over board.

"Why isn't the boat moving?" Rosie asked, looking around confusedly.

"Because we need to put up the sails." Michael said, rolling his eyes at our nautical skill.

"Here! I found the Sales!" Ali shouted, holding up a newspaper advertisement, "Fly my pretties fly fly Muahahahah!!!"

"...very good Ali." Michael said, looking like he would just love to lock her in a trunk again.

"I'll help you." I said, trying to disrupt Michael's train of thought before he began to recall the merits of keel hauling.

* * *

After quite a lot of cussing and some minor threats, the sails were finally raised and we were on our way. At first, Arashi had made quite a strong protest to our taking his ship, until I played the peace maker and promised that we wouldn't seriously maim anyone on our pirate excursion. That and the mention of Naruto dearest did wonders to his outlook, and soon enough he was joining in on the raunchy sea shanties that we composed while raising the sails.

We were all singing our new theme song, entitled 'Grandma got thrown up by a Cougar', with Rosie coming in with a random 'Si si si' every now and again, when we all realized our hunger. "WE KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS PANDAS!"

"Si si si!"

"I'm hungry. She Beast, go get me some eggs or somethin'" Michael shouted, throwing a very piratey knife at Ali. Everyone was shocked when it hit her forehead with a resounding thump. What shocked us even more, was when Ali started to cackle, completely unharmed.

"What? Still trying to shank people with plastic knifes Michael?" I asked, with an amused smirk.

"Damnit! I thought that was the Buick!" Michael shouted, completely disappointed.

"The Buick?" Arashi asked, laughing along with the rest of us, though not completely in on the joke.

"Well, it's really a Buck knife, but Michael thought that it was called the Buick, and because he is _never_ wrong it is now named the Buick." Anita said, putting sarcastic stress on the 'never wrong' bit.

"Whatever. Go! Bring me eggs and other nautical food stuffs!" Michael shouted, now threatening Ali with a plastic spoon.

"Alright, alright." Ali muttered, rumbling down to the galley in search of food.

"While you're at it feed us all." Rosie said, hanging upside down from the rigging and making faces with Anita.

"So, how is everyone back at Kohona?" Arashi asked Dani, seeing as how everyone else was absorbed in the growing face making competition between Rosie and Anita.

"Oh. Everyone's doin' good I guess." Dani said, really not terribly interested in the competition either, "Naruto seems like he misses you though. When do you plan on coming back to Kohona?"

"Actually, I was planning on starting back when I met up with you guys. I was going to sell the boat and then walk back." Arashi said, leaning against the railing and only half watching as Rosie stuck a pickle up her nose and tried to chew on her ear.

Just then Ali burst form the galley, carrying a mountain of food.

"This food is delicious. Because there is rum. And loon tablets! You may all now oooh and aaah over my culinary superiority!" She shouted, spreading the food out right on the deck.

"It looks delicious!" Rosie said, launching herself at the bananas, which were sitting right next to the beef and the jell-O.

* * *

The next week was a mess of nonsense and garbled nautical terms. Everyone was in high good humor, even after Ali found the gun powder and mixed it with the coco mix. That put an end to the late night coco parties. It didn't help that Michael was the one to discover the explosive properties of the new mix. Once he had been convinced to let Ali out of the brig the sailing was smooth. That is, until Anita decided that it was high time we pillaged some villages. Then things went down hill fast, especially when Michael taught Ali and Rosie to load the cannons. Then there was little could be done to stop them.

We had been sailing around randomly for a week, so of course we had no real crystal clear picture of where we were, so it was eventually decided that we would just sail in a Western direction, and we would eventually reach land. From there we could make a real plan. Of course, Arashi and I had no intention of letting our companions pillage any villages any time soon. We had both agreed to herd everyone home as soon as we reached land.

"HOIST THE PLANK!" Michael shouted, pointing to the main mast.

"That's not how it works!" Anita said from her position at the front end of the boat.

"No back seat driving! I'll not stand for mutiny among my crew!" Michael shouted back, pointing an accusing finger.

"I'm not in the back seat so I can't very well take part in any supposed 'backseat driving'." Anita said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Dani agrees with me. Anita is being mutinous, isn't she Dani?" Michael stated more than asked me.

"Actually I kinda agree with her." I said, smiling as Michael grew blue.

"WHAT! That's simply preposterous! I give the orders on this boat, I am the Feared Captain Morgan!"

"With all due respect, O' Feared Captain Morgan, You might want to turn before we hit that bridge." Arashi said, dropping from the rigging of the little sloop.

"What? I see no bridge!" Michael said, squinting through the eerie fog that had surrounded the ship unannounced.

"There!" Anita shouted, leaning over the rail and pointing to the gray mass looming before us.

Luckily Michael had a better idea of how to sail than the rest of us, excluding Arashi of course, and just managed to miss it.

"What a cheeky little nose ring!" Rosie shouted, glaring at the bridge, "We should attack it."

"YES, WE'LL SHOW THAT BRIDGE WHO'S BOSS!" Anita shouted, already loading a cannon.

"Very well then, prepare to open fire!" Michael said, looking at the bridge in a menacing way he normally reserved for Ali after she had done something particularly annoying.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Arashi asked, we had been hoping to avoid confrontation.

"Yeah, I mean, what if we come across a Spanish treasure galley and don't have any ammo left?" I added, hoping to distract them.

"Then we shall over power them with brute strength!" Rosie shouted, completely set on attacking the bridge.

"The cannons are all loaded!" Ali said, skipping lightly across the deck.

"Prepare to fire!" Michael said, assuming his menacing pirate stance.

"Ahh . . . I thought that I heard you guys. Where have you been?" A currently disembodied voice said through the mist surrounding the bridge.

"A Possessed bridge!" Michael shouted, "Fire!"

Ali and Rosie sent off a salvo of about three cannonballs, and shouting could be heard coming from the bridge.

"Ha! We wounded it! Prepare the next round!" Michael said, even as Ali and Rosie were reloading.

That was when Kakashi poofed onto the deck.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Ali shouted, dropping a cannonball and glomping him, "I missed you! You didn't forget me did you?"

"I'm afraid that forgetting you is quite impossible, as you are both mentally scarring and my responsibility." Kakashi said, completely taken aback by Ali's newfound friendliness.

"There you guys are!" Naruto shouted down at us, hanging dangerously over the edge of the bridge.

"Hey-ya Whiskers!" Ali shouted, letting go of Kakashi and waving frantically at Naruto.

"So, is anyone going to tell me why we let this guy on our boat?" Michael asked, still trying to look like a dangerous pirate.

"We press ganged him." I said quickly, trying to keep Michael form picking a fight with the much stronger ninja.

"Oh, well, what about them?" Anita asked, looking towards the rest of the team, which had joined Naruto at the side of the bridge.

"Ummm . . ." I said, completely at a loss for a respectable pirate role for the rest of them.

"Hah! You can't fool me Dani, they're the enemy!" Anita shouted, jumping up and down in an enraged two year old sorta way.

"Arm yourselves! We've been boarded!" Michael shouted, himself grabbing a rabbit and aiming for Kakashi. How rabbits got on the boat I will never know.

"YOU'LL NEVER SINK MY CHEERIO!" Rosie shouted, grabbing a rabbit herself and beating Kakashi about the head with it.

Normally, none of us would have a snowballs chance in hell of hitting Kakashi, but one mustn't underestimate the element of surprise. One moment we were all chummy, and the next we were attacking him with rabbits. It must have been quite a shock to him. But, to his credit, our advantage didn't last long. In a matter of minuets he had us all tied to the mast, even Ali, Arashi, and I. Which was probably a wise move because Ali had gotten swept up in the whole 'let's-hit-Kakashi-with-a-rabbit-until-he-cries' movement.

"Traitor!" Michael snarled, trying to shank we with his plastic knife, we had thrown the 'Buick' overboard after he threatened to carve obscene words on Ali's forehead with it.

"What is all this? Who are these people?" Kakashi sighed more than asked, already preparing himself for a ridiculous answer.

"Well, this is Anita, my Jedi master, that's Rosie, the-one-with-the-crazy-long-name-who-is-simply-called-Rosie, that's Michael, the brains of the operation, that's Arashi, the undisputed owner of this boat, that's Ali, whom you seem to recall, and I am Dani the Magnificent." I said, trying to point to everyone in their turn, but not having much luck due to the fact that I was tied to the mast.

"Is there any explanation as to why you're attacking that bridge?" Kakashi asked, again prepared for an unusual reply.

"Well . . .it insulted us?" Rosie said hesitantly, looking around for confirmation.

"Yes. It was exceedingly rude." Michael said, striking a dignified pose.

"Right." Kakashi said, half wishing that Dani had answered, as she might have made more sense.

"Are we going home now?" Ali asked, noticing the pack that Kakashi was carrying.

"Well, yes. The plan was to find you two and then go back to Kohona." Kakashi said, hoping that he wouldn't have to convince them to come back.

"Yay!" Ali said, poofing out of the ropes and again glomping Kakashi.

"Well, I guess we need to head back too." Anita said, escaping the ropes as well, "We still need to complete our mission."

"What were you doing?" I asked, surprised that they hadn't first completed their mission.

"Well, Rosie and I were sent to find the Banana King and get a treaty signed. When we ran into Michael though we decided to take a break." Anita said, spinning in circles now that she was free.

"Good luck." Kakashi said, deciding just to go along with it all, "So, Arashi, is there any chance you would head back to Kohona with us?"

"Yeah, I was planning on going back when I bumped into these guys." Arashi said.

"Wonderful, see ya guys later!" Ali said, poofing onto the bridge, and by the sounds of it, on top of Sasuke.

"Bye!" I said, grabbing a hold of Arashi's sleeve and poofing away once Kakashi was safely off the boat, you never know when Michael would decide to take hostages.

We appeared on the bridge, and had to help pry Ali out of Sasuke's hair.

"Arashi!" Naruto shouted, giving his friend a hug. Unfortunately this sent Ali into a glomping fit, and she would not be appeased until she had hugged everyone again. Even Sasuke, but only because she knew that he hated it more than her. And then she spent the next ten minuets hugging all of the villagers too.

"Well, let's be off then." I said, releasing the last terrified villager form Ali's death grip.

* * *

"Well, what are you going to do now that you've returned?" The Hokage asked Arashi, examening his fingers.

"I had been hoping to join up with a team and then go on to the Chuunin exams." Arashi said, standing completely at ease.

We had decided to bring Arashi along with us to make our report to the Hokage, because that would just make things easier according to Kakashi.

"Well, you can join Dani and Ali's team, as long as that's alright with them of course." Sarutobi said, smiling in a cunning old man sort of way.

"That'd be great." I said, really relieved that we at least had someone on our team who wasn't completely incompetent.

"Very good. Oh, before you go Arashi, I'm afraid that the land lady sold your apartment after all." The Hokage said, already shuffling through his papers.

"No problem, I pretty much knew that would happen." Arashi said, "It won't be a problem finding somewhere to stay."

"You can stay with us." Ali said, skipping out the door and making a face at the ANBU guarding it.

"Umm . . .I'm not sure that we have enough room." I said, trying to slow Ali down before someone decided to feed her drugged cookies again.

"He can stay in the basement. There's plenty of room down there." Ali said, moving on to glaring at pigeons.

"Ooh yeah, I forgot about the basement. So, it looks like we really do have room for you." I said cheerfully to Arashi.

"Actually, that would be great." Arashi said, glad to have avoided the problems associated with finding an apartment building that allowed ninjas and wasn't full or over priced.

"Bwuahahahahaha!" Ali cackled, cartwheeling off down the street.

* * *

Well, I finally got this chappy done! I hope everyone liked it, and I really would like to get at least five reviews, that means you Rosie! Suggestions, criticism, incoherent babbling, pretty much anything in review form would make my day all happy and what-not.

The End.


	8. Training and some Daisy dollop

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Naruto or anything else that I use that happens to already belong to someone else. That includes the Daisy sour cream company. Also, Ali would like to take the credit for this chappy, or that is, Lord Phlegm Luge the eighty seventh divided by six Jr.-ess. **

**RasenganRendan: **So, I'm going to try to make Arashi a little less laid-back, but if he's still too easygoing please tell me!

**Neassa:** Thanks so much for all of the help and all of your great reviews!

**Kaguya Yumiasai: **Thanks for the improvised review, I'm really relieved that you won't be miffed! Yay!

**Albanian.ninja:** Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it, it was super hard to write all of you guys. I nearly had a heart attack. Not really, I just started laughing at random moments and my family thought that I was insane. Nothing too out of the norm.

**So...I decided to scratch the whole number of reviews thing. I just decided that it was too much of a bother. I will write faster if you review though, at the moment I'm kinda in a not writing mood, so stuff might be moving slow. I have come to terms with the fact that I'd rather read than write, so I will be doing more reading and less writing.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Training, and some Daisy Dollop**

"So...here we are I guess." Dani mumbled, leading the way up the dirt mounds. Arashi was beginning to look slightly doubtful, a forlorn looking house, a mountain of dirt, two insane Companions...looking for an apartment building was beginning to sound like the prudent thing to do.

"What's with all of the dirt?" Arashi asked, brushing himself off as Dani unlocked the front door.

"Well, there wasn't a basement originally. We just got bored and decided to dig one." Ali said, slipping into the house as soon as Dani got the door open.

"Ali, why don't you vacuum the basement for Arashi." Dani said, before Ali managed to disappear up into her bedroom.

"NO! Please! Anything but that! Don't let it eat me again!" Ali shouted, throwing herself at Dani and clinging to her leg as though her life depended on it.

"Ali, the vacuum can't eat you. Now get to it while I show Arashi the rest of the house and call someone about getting electricity installed in his room." Dani said, managing to pry Ali off.

"Fine." Ali mumbled, stalking over to the closet, clearly unhappy.

"Alrighty then. This is the kitchen, but we don't ever really eat here, because we can't cook. Mostly we just go out to eat somewhere. Don't worry, we don't live on one type of food like Naruto." Dani said, wandering down the hallway with Arashi following behind her.

"Dani! The beast is ALIVE! It's gonna eat me!!! HELP! Call the plumber, call the navy, call my mommy! Get off of me you blood sucking fiend!" This outburst was followed by crashes and smashes and all sorts of commotion.

"Ali, for the last time, the vacuum isn't going to eat you." Dani said, completely exasperated.

"This is your last warning you mutant killer from Neptune!" Ali shouted, either ignoring Dani or unable to hear her over the noise of the vacuum.

"We'd better go check on her, before she breaks something." Dani said in a resigned voice.

They both headed to the livingroom, where the worst of the threats and breakages seemed to be occurring, and stopped dead in the doorway about the same time Ali's curses were muffled. Somehow, she had managed to get her head vacuumed.

"Leave it to Ali to figure out how to get her head stuck in a vacuum." Dani sighed as she went to help her struggling apprentice.

"WOOO I AM LORD FLACKEN PANT! FEAR ME YOU INSOLENT FEET!" Ali shouted, thrashing about the room while brandishing her lightsaber.

"Ali, you're Lord Clacken' Shplacken' as always, don't think that you can fool us with a false name." Dani said, turning towards Arashi, "If you ever get threatened by Lord Clacken' Shplacken' or this newcomer 'Lord Flacken Pant' feel free to beat Ali until the threats stop."

"VOOOOM!" Ali continued to scream as she ran madly through the room, knocking over plates there for the very purpose of being knocked over.

As she ran past Arashi, preparing for her second loop of destruction, he deftly reached out and ripped the vacuum from her head.

"AAAAWWW! My head! It's been stolen! Thief! Cur! Crazy man-boob octopus! Public Relations Officer!" Ali shouted, pointing an accusing spud launcher at Arashi's own head.

She fired off a couple potatoes, all of which Arashi deftly blocked. As soon as the first potato hit the wall, Dani pulled a packet of sour cream out of one of her many pockets and squirted it on the potato's remains.

"It's a Daisy Dollop!" Ali sang, doing a complete 180 degree mood swing, "Daisy Dollop, Daisy Dollop!"

With that, Ali skipped out the door.

"Soo...when was the last time that she saw a doctor?" Arashi asked, lifting his eyebrows at Dani.

"Well, we used to take her to the doctor, but then I got tired of having to pay for all of the rare diseases and the damages. At least now she has stopped showing complete strangers her record of the doctors and nurses she's seriously wounded and/or driven insane. The last time I tried to take her, she ate through two straight jackets and still had time to kill the goldfish in the waiting room."

"How'd she kill the fish?" Arashi asked, looking as though he wasn't too sure that he really wanted to know.

"Well, lets just say that at one time, before I made her my apprentice, she served as a natural source of methane for alternative fuel research." Dani said, grimacing.

"Well...how much did she make?" Arashi asked, interested despite himself.

"Two hundred thousand dollars. She wouldn't share either. She bought a potato farm up in Idaho, and the Daisy sour cream company. The rest is history." Dani said, looking more than slightly miffed.

"Well, now that she's out of the house for the time being, I'll show you the rest of the house, and point out all of her traps. Ever since that epiphany she had, she's been obsessed with traps and snares and such, she changes them up every once in a while to keep us on our toes, so watch out." Dani said, turning to go upstairs.

"She had an epiphany?" Arashi asked in amazement.

"Well, not really, but she calls it that any ways." Dani said, clearly trying to avoid the topic.

"What was it?" Arashi asked, realizing that he would have to ask directly if he wanted an answer.

"Well, when she was young she had a vision of Orochimaru and Kabuto getting down and dirty in our hallway, and since that day she's been really paranoid and that's why she lays all of the traps." Dani said, leading him up the stairs.

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you?" Arashi asked, clearly not buying it, "That's too strange even for her."

"Oh please, that would be tons better than what really happened." Dani slipped before she caught herself.

"And that would be..." Arashi prodded, really interested now.

"Fine, but don't you ever repeat this." Dani said, giving him a serious look, "When she was little she asked me what a booby-trap was. Well, I being the loving sister that I am, told her that it was a hidden trap, like a hole in the floor. She got this frightening, thoughtful look on her face, and then she comes out with, 'Oh, so it's like an ass hole?'. Ever since then she's been obsessed with catching herself a pair of boobies. Don't you dare laugh, if you tell anyone I will fill you pillow with pepper jelly."

Arashi quickly tried to stifle his laughter, certain that Dani could and would carry out her threat, however far fetched it first sounded. He had learned that lesson on the boat when she told Michael that if he ate any of her chocolate she would kidnap every shoe and barricade herself in the galley. When Michael made himself sick on her chocolate, she did just that. It took two days for Ali to brake though, even with her fearsome rage-induced-strength.

"Of course, there's absolutely nothing to laugh about. It's a most tragic tale." Arashi said, his voice muffled by the hand concealing his laughter.

"Damn skippy. It hardly bears thinking on." Dani said, continuing down the hall, "Now, this is the bathroom, there's Ali's room, look out for the traps as they are the most numerous and changing here, and this is my room. I've threatened Ali enough that there are no traps leading up to the door, so if you need anything it should be perfectly safe for you to come get me. Well, that concludes our tour, all except for the basement."

"It's a lovely house, thanks for letting me stay here." Arashi said politely, fully appreciating how much the two girls would have to adjust for him.

"It's not a problem. Ali was getting restless, I was worried that she might start to attack that elderly guy living next to us. The last thing we want is to upset people here. Normally, I'd be all for it, but the fact of the matter is that even most of the old people here could easily take Ali and I down." Dani said, looking a bit disappointed at the strength of the elderly of Kohona.

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR SPLEEN YOU LECHEROUS OLD MAN!!! VOOOM SAYS I!!! HAND OVER YOUR FAT FREE YOGURT GEEZER!!!"

"Kuso kuso kuso kuso!" Dani shouted, throwing her arms up in the air in exasperation.

"What are you doing?" Arashi asked, slightly taken aback by Dani's unusual response to the commotion out on the street.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm taking a shower!" Dani shouted, rolling her eyes at him as she headed for the door.

"Uhhh..." Arashi said, even more confused then before.

"I'm going to go stop Ali form attacking the old man, I was being sarcastic." Dani said, rummaging through some draws until she finally came up with a bottle of peanut butter.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out." Arashi said, just as dryly, but with a smile all the same.

"Here's lesson number two, Ali will be almost instantly distracted by either Daisy, or peanut butter. I would suggest that you carry one of the two on you at all times, or at least have then handy in your room." Dani said, walking out the door and into Ali's newly made war zone.

"I WILL NEVER GIVE IN YOU UGLY OLD GOOSE! NOW GIVE ME YOUR YOGURT BEFORE I SHANK YOU WITH A RUBBER DUCKY!" Ali shouted, not even noticing that Dani and Arashi were now standing on the porch.

She had somehow managed to dig herself into the bank of a dirt mound facing their elderly neighbor's home, creating some sort of trench bunker hybrid. From this new vantage point she was waving her spud launcher and shouting obscenities and various nonsenses at the equally enraged man currently camped out on the porch of his house, clutching the berry favored focus of Ali's desires.

"Ali! Look at what I've got! Peanut butter!" Dani shouted.

"Shut up wench! I want the yogurt-y goodness!" Ali shouted back, not even bothering to turn around, keeping her gaze locked on the old man and his yogurt instead.

"Now she's just being contrary. Well, that's unfortunate. Now we'll have to either attempt to distract her with something dangerous, or help her get the yogurt form the old man." Dani said, already searching her pockets for an artichoke.

"Dangerous?" Arashi asked, not really liking the idea of giving Ali something dangerous when she was in a mood like this.

"Yeah, the last thing you ever want to do is give her mystery meat." Dani said absent mindedly.

"What was that? Did someone say 'mystery meat'?" Ali asked, loping over.

"No, why would you think anything like that?" Arashi asked, smiling innocently.

"Oh, no matter, I can go make some. Hmmm...today will be a mixture of fish, octopus, okapis, Raven brain, and a shark's gullet!" Ali pronounced happily, skipping off towards the land fill.

"Ali, what if I gave you your supper bouncy ball back?" Dani asked.

"Nah, I'm tired of bouncing it through peoples' windows." Ali said, making a bee line to the land fill.

"I might, however, lower the toxicity levels if..." Ali said, turning around and giving them a coy smile.

"If..." Dani and Arashi prompted.

"If you help me do a mystery meat education day tomorrow." Ali said grinning evilly.

"Would that be a bad idea?" Arashi asked Dani under his breath.

"Very bad." Dani said, looking slightly grim, "But, I think that's the only option we have at this point."

"Alright Ali, just come here for a sec." Arashi said, a grin on his face.

Dani really didn't know why he was grinning, this was a very serious situation. He had never had to sit through a three hour seminar on sheep intestines.

Ali skipped over, convinced that she had won. Dani was too weak to try to physically force her to give up the mystery meat plan, and Arashi wouldn't...

"AAH!!! Let me go you orchid!"

Arashi kept Ali's wrists tight together, not a very difficult feat by any means, but one that impressed Dani and Ali all the same. She was flailing around with her legs, but not doing any good so far, she was too unskilled in taijutsu.

"Well, I have to admit, it's going to be a whole lot easier to keep Ali under control with you around." Dani said, smiling and giving him the thumbs up while Ali foamed at the mouth.

"Wow, you're really weak. Maybe we should take the rest of the day to train." Arashi said, looking skeptically at Ali, who was at the moment trying to gnaw off her arm in a desperate attempt to escape.

"NOO! Do what you want to Dani, but keep your training away from me you cookie monster!" Ali screamed, thrashing around uselessly.

"Well, I better go inside and call the electrician, you two have fun now!" Dani said, giving a falsely cheery smile while trying to beat a hasty escape.

"Oh no you don't." Arashi said, grabbing Dani by the scruff of her neck before she could quite manage to get in the door, "We're all going to train."

"Oh, I don't really think that's necessary, we could just go rob a couple banks instead." Dani said, hoping to twist her way out of his grasp while he was busy being appalled at her suggestion. Unfortunately, Arashi was too focused for that.

"Very funny. Lets go, we still have a full four hours of daylight." Arashi said, dragging the struggling pair down the street.

* * *

"Okay, so, what do you normally do for training?" Arashi asked Ali and Dani as they reached the training field.

"What do you mean 'training'?" Ali said, clearly determined to be not helpful.

"Well, truth be told, we don't really train in the ways you do. Mostly we just attack innocent bystanders to keep our skills sharp." Dani replied sheepishly.

"Okay, well lets start with your pseudo-Kekkai Genkai abilities I've heard so much about." Arashi said, rubbing his temples.

"Well, I'm lightning and Ali is zombie. Other than that we don't really know anything about them." Dani said, convinced that if she had to train she might as well get to it.

"Okay, we can start there." Arashi said, grabbing Ali again, and keeping a hold on Dani just in case, "The best place to start would be the library..."

Dani shot forward, practically dragging Arashi who was unprepared for her sudden enthusiasm and also weighed down by Ali, who had latched herself to a boulder, a tree, a house, and several civilians. How she managed it is beyond me.

"What's this?" Arashi asked stunned by the reactions.

"NOO! Anything but that! I'll sell you my liver!!!" Ali shouted, nearly in a panic.

"Hurry up! What are you waiting for!? We're going to the library!" Dani shouted, almost breaking free of Arash's hold she was that excited.

"What is with you two?" Arashi asked, laughing at the polar opposites of their reactions.

"Love...library...can't...wait..." Dani panted, still straining against his grasp.

"NOOOOO! Please don't make me go there again! It burns!!" Ali wailed, maintaining her death grip on the surrounding inanimate and animate objects.

"Oh you big baby, lets go already!" Dani shouted, turning around and prying Ali off of everything. She then proceeded to the library at a breakneck pace few knew her to be capable of.

Once they wormed their way past the librarian they buried themselves in a mountain of books, about mythology, anatomy, magnetism, glue, everything and anything that might somehow relate to their powers.

"Listen to this, 'a Zombie is an animated corpse that feeds on living human flesh. They are not stronger than a regular human, they are clumsy, they are for the most part slower than humans, and they're average mental capacity is beneath that of an insect. However, zombies use all of their senses equally, which can give them the appearance of superhuman senses. This is one of their greatest advantages over humanity. Another is their tirelessness and inability to feel pain. They will continue with what ever they are doing until they are forcibly stopped, they achieve their goal, or they die.'. That sounds promising." Arashi said, reading aloud from one of the largest and dustiest tomes.

"You eat living human flesh? Why did you never tell me this?!" Dani asked Ali, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Well, I do enjoy biting my nails." Ali said, examining her fingers with new interest, "Hah! I am by far and large smarter than an insect! And I'm not that slow!"

"Ali, I'm faster than you." Dani said, laughing and pointing at her.

"Moving on," Arashi said, flipping through an anatomy textbook while the two sisters glared at each other, "What about this? 'The brain controls and sends messages to muscles and other systems with electricity. These messages travel roughly 248 miles per hour.'"

"Voom!" Ali whispered, throwing a paper airplane at Arashi.

"We can do tons with both of those, it sounds like you might have some great tracking and detecting powers and we haven't even gotten to the glue bit. Dani might be able to gain control of the body, even emotions." Arashi said, deftly catching Ali's airplane and throwing it back at her.

* * *

"Okay Ali, lets try this again." Arashi said for the umpteenth time. He again handed her a wilted flower.

Ali stared at it, and it began to drip a thick, black ooze. Just like it had many times before.

"It's alive!" Ali shouted, throwing it at Arashi. All according to the routine that they had worked out over the past two hours. But this time, Arashi caught the flower, intending to throw it back to Ali because he was tired of dodging stinky oozing dead flowers. He plucked it out of the air in one smooth motion, and followed with a flick of his wrist that should have sent the flower rocketing into Ali's face. But it didn't. Instead, the flower remained held fast in his hand. Everyone watched for a while as Arashi vainly tried to let go of the flower.

"Maybe that black stuff does do something." Dani said, flipping through the pages of one of the books they had checked out from the library, "Could it be 'Collagen; the chemical responsible for the adhesive properties of glue'?"

"It won't come off." Arashi said, trying to rub the flower off on a rock but only succeeding in sticking his hand to that too.

"Ali, see if you can get the glue to let go." Dani said, watching and laughing from a safe distance.

Ali got really close to the glue, so that her nose was almost touching it, and then she began to shout, "GLUE! It is your supreme overlord addressing you. I command you to be no longer sticky!"

The glue seemed to hesitate, but only for a moment and then it obediently rolled off Arashi's hand.

"Woot! I rule the universe! Bow you insolent cheese thief!" Ali shouted, doing a crazy victory dance.

To everyone's amazement, the little blob bowed.

"Wait, is that thing _sentient_?!" Arashi asked in disbelief.

"I don't know, but it is my new minion of DOOM! Together we shall rule the galaxy, or better yet, THE YOGURT-Y GOODNESS!!!" Ali said, already formulating such a plan.

"Okay then, well, how are you coming Dani?" Arashi asked, turning to Dani, who's task for the day was to make Cougar walk around. She was having mixed success. Cougar was twitching uncontrollably, but it was obvious that something wasn't right about her.

"How come we have to do all of the training?" Ali grumbled, as she had the blob run around the field picking up various pebbles.

"Well because I'm helping you, and I've got a good enough handle on my Kekkai Genkai." Arashi said, watching the blob closely, trying to gauge how much weight it could carry.

"Fine. But I want a popsicle when this is over." Ali said.

* * *

Well, it's been a while but I finally got the chappy up! Some of you may know already, but I have been in Peru and Equador for the last three weeks and there were no computers. But, I'm back now so I will write more. I also managed to get over the hard parts of the story, the training and powers that is. Do you know how hard it is to find information on Zombies?! In the end I had to buy a book about them. It is hilarious and called 'The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete protection from the living dead'. It's by Max Brooks and I recommend it to anyone who would like to read a completely serious book on what to do if you are attacked by zombies.

Well, I will try to update sooner. As a special treat for the lateness of the chappy my sister (whom Ali is based upon) has written a little sub chappy for you. I will type it and have it up soon, it's her first attempt at writing so be nice!

Until the next time,

May the Force be with you!


	9. Ali's sub chappy

**Heyo! For a change I, ALI, will be writing a SUB CHAPPY!!! Please be nice and don't give me the two word reviews and please do tell me what to improve on! Yay! Drool, giggle giggle**

**This, for a time, is Cougar's point of view.**

* * *

I have many strange hobbies, one of which is not sleeping. At night there isn't much to do. You could sleep, hunt unsuspecting things in weird masks, (AKA the ANBU agents) or watch dream bubbles! Ali's are mostly about mindless killing and/or killing Sasuke, while Dani's are about books, endless books or...this is odd, voice dripping with sarcasm Killing Sasuke _and _Sakura!

Tonight, after the 'things' went to bed, I snuck into Ali's room to watch her dream. (Sasuke had recently kicked me into a tree and I wanted to see him die, slowly and painfully!) I will forever be mentally scarred by what I saw...

* * *

I was sitting on a rock over looking a cliff and a beautiful sunset. The only things ruining this dream were standing in front of me. (Sasuke and Sakura) They were standing at the tip of the huge cliff, overlooking the ocean, telling each other how much they loved the other.

I swear I nearly gagged.

"Push them off the cliff." A very familiar voice urged, "So _I, _the magnificent **ALEX** can be the **NEW **Sasuke!"

"Wot wot. I hear me mate!" I said.

"Alex, stop being stupid!" Another voice said, sounding like my other friend, Clara!

"Yay! Me mates be here. LET'S DRINK!" I screeched leaping up and grabbing a barrel each of Rum and Vodka, "But first," Pushes Sasuke and Sakura off cliff. Devil appears along with Abe Lincoln.

"That was not an honest thing to do Ali." Abe droned.

"May we borrow your spear thingy?" Alex and Clara asked, pointedly at the Devil.

"I want you're souls." The Devil bargained.

"Deal!" Alex and Clara said, grabbing his spear thingy.

I looked away.

CRACK!!!

Clara and Alex had smashed Abe into a pile of broken bones and blood.

"Burn the remains!" I shrieked throwing a burning torch on the pile of mush that was once Abe Lincoln.

"WEEE!" We all shouted to the sky, as the fire lit!

"Alex, give us a good campfire song!" I commanded of my friend.

"Ooooh! Old Abe is dead, we hit him in the head, and now he's lying on his death bed!" Alex sang, looking very happy with herself for making the wondrous chant!

"Now, about your souls..." The Devil said sneaking towards Clara and Alex.

"You'll never take us alive!" Alex bellowed at him.

Thwump ...thwump thwump thwump thwump thwump thwump.

A dozen shoes flew towards our soul collector.

"You're not worth the effo..."

CLANG!! The Devil fell on his face!

"I told you we needed an anvil!" Clara said smugly at Alex.

"Shut up ya Spaz!" Alex said to Clara. (Clara hates it when we do that!)

"Alex!" Clara fumed.

"Run away!" Alex screamed jumping off the cliff.

And that was it. I awoke to see Cougar piddling on my carpet...again.

* * *

Cougar's point of view

* * *

"Help me Dani!" I mewed, trying to out run Ali.

Splash!

"You will live her until you figure out that my rug is not your litter box." Ali said, stuffing me into the toilet. This time she even closed the lid.

* * *

Dani's point of view

* * *

"Ali!" I yelled up the stairs, "Where's Cougar?"

"In the toilet." Ali mumbled down the stairs, "She piddled on my rug again!"

"Stupid cat." I said more to myself than to Ali.

"Where's Arashi?" Ali asked me over a bowl of coco puffs.

"Training." We said toghether.

* * *

END

* * *

Yay! I hope you liked my very first sub chappy! Next time I lose a bet with Dani and have to write another sub chappy I'll do Dani's dream! 


	10. Preparations for the Chuunin exam

**Hey, sorry it's ben so long. So, without further ado here is the story.**

**P.S. This chapter is dedicated to my dear little 'Ali' who broke bones (mine) to see this chapter completed. Happy Birthday Goober.**

"Shhh, Ali, you need to shut up for one second!" Dani hissed under her breath at Ali, who at the moment was snorting away like a world champ.

_Actually, she probably could be a world champion snorter._ Dani thought. She pondered the possibility for a while, and then turned her attention to the task at hand, storing the thought away for later.

Dani and Ali were currently crouched outside of the Hokage tower listening in on a meeting between the Jounin of the village and the Hokage. They had a slight advantage, because they had no chakra for the Jounin to detect they were able to hide close by at a lower risk. Lower risk, but the chances of being caught were still high, especially if Ali did not stop snorting sometime soon. Normally Dani would never take such a risk, but this was important.

Soon after their return to the village hidden in Leaf they had overheard a couple of Chuunins discussing the upcoming exams. Ever since then Dani and Ali had been secretly attending every meeting in hopes of discovering something useful. They had not told Arashi, he wasn't the cheating type, and would surely disapprove of spying on village meetings.

The Hokage's voice drifted out to them from the open window, "Alright, moving on to our final piece of business, the upcoming Chuunin exams."

Ali managed to stop snorting and they both held their breath, waiting for the crucial information.

"The first exam will be proctored by our head of interrogation, Ibiki. It will be a paper test, designed to assess their information gathering skills." There was a shuffling sound and then the Hokage continued.

"The second stage of the exam will take place in the Forest of Death and will be proctored by Anko." More shuffling, "Then the third stage of the exams will be carried out in the traditional manner. Are there any questions? No, well then, you're all dismissed."

"Ali, did you hear that?" Dani asked, rubbing her hands together, "Call in your blob and find out what that shuffling was."

Soon after the room was vacated a little black puddle slid off of the window and onto Ali's head. They had discovered the blob's ability to talk on accident if the truth must be told. Cougar had attempted to eat one and it had run screaming the whole way to Ali. After that they had all worked hard to test and teach the little blob how to make reports and what information was important to remember. Now they were excellent spies.

It sat on Ali's head and they murmured together too quiet for Dani to hear.

"Well?" Dani finally snapped, becoming very impatient.

"It said that the shuffling was them handing out files, probably specifications for the exam stages. Ibiki got one, and so did Anko." Ali repeated, the little blob nodding sagely on her shoulder.

"Okay, can you get your blobs to trail Ibiki and Anko? We need to see those files." Dani asked, already scooting away from the window and merging with the foot traffic on the street.

"Already done, they're stuck to the bottom of their shoes. They'll let me know if one of them stops or puts down the folder." Ali said, keeping pace with Dani and grinning manically to keep people from coming too close and overhearing them.

"Good, now all we need to do is find a way to temporarily replace the folders and/or distract Ibiki and Anko long enough for us to get a good look at the tests." Dani said, searching her brain for possibilities.

"Oooh...chocolate! Can I have some? Please!" Ali whined, obviously distracted.

"NO!" Dani snapped, giving Ali an affectionate though forceful (for a jellybean) slap upside the head. "Ali, I'm sorry but you have to concentrate. This is important! I need you to have your blobs wait until they are distracted and then stick them to something and make off with the folders."

"Well that's not subtle." Ali said, looking at Dani quizzically and rubbing her forehead.

"You got a better idea?" Dani asked, glaring at Ali.

"No, not really."

A blob scurried up to Ali frantically. She stooped down and picked it up, listening as it spoke too quickly and quietly for Dani to understand.

"Well, what did it say?" Dani asked, knowing that if it left it's post and risked Ali's considerable wrath there was a very good reason.

"Anko's at a bar, we could swipe the folder now." Ali said, quickening her pace and leading the way to the bar.

Swiping the folder from Anko was not a hard task. When they reached the bar they found a very loud and drunk lady with short black hair. She had an official seeming folder under her arm and after their eyes had adjusted to the smog of the bar they were able to pick out the little blob stuck to her shoe.

"Well, what do we do now? We could just run up and grab it, who knows? She might not notice." Ali said, failing to hide the yawn that revealed the true reasoning behind her suggestion.

"Ali my love, she may be drunk but she's still a Jounin and you can sleep when we get home." Dani said, already moving further into the crowded building, headed for the stool beside Anko.

Dani and Ali slipped onto the seats beside Anko and tried to look inconspicuous, they were very lucky that Anko was on her fifth shot and, needless to say, _very_ drunk.

"Hey! How old are you two?" The bar tender, unfortunately not as oblivious as they had hoped, demanded, "We can't serve people under 18 and I don't want any trouble form the Anbu. You'd best be on your way."

Ali opened her mouth as though to send either a scathing reply or a half hearted lie the bartender's way, but Dani cut her off, "Oh, all right you caught us."

Ali still seemed in the mood to protest so Dani shoved her brutally off of the stool and into the inebriated Anko. There was a lot of shouting and some minor scratches but eventually everyone untangled themselves and Dani hustled Ali out of the bar before Anko even had a chance to right herself.

"What was that for?!" Ali shouted, rubbing the bruise on her forehead.

Instead of answering Dani pulled a folder from what seemed like thin air and waived it triumphantly in Ali's face.

"Wow! You got the folder! So you had the whole thing planned, that is so cool!" Ali shouted, jumping around like her feet had been replaced by pogo sticks.

"Shut up! Do you want someone to hear?!" Dani hissed at her.

"Oh, sorry." Ali mumbled, hanging her head.

"That's better." Dani said, steering Ali onto the street that would lead them home, "First, no, I did not have a plan. It fell out of her jacket so I grabbed it before I hauled you out of there. Second, we WILL NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS!"

"Not even Arashi?"

"Especially not Arashi. You know how he feels about our 'methods'. We will study the folder tonight, and then we will find Ibiki tomorrow." Dani said, clambering over the mounds of dirt that still littered the front lawn as she stashed the folder in her backpack.

"WE'RE HOOOME!!!" Dani shouted, shaking dust from the ceiling in the process. There was some yelping from the living room, and then Arashi staggered out clutching his ears.

"Hey, could you tone it down, I was practicing extending my senses and you nearly blew out one of my ear drums." Arashi said, still managing a little smile all the same. That was one of the traits that allowed him to get along with Dani and Ali so well, he was naturally good natured.

"Oh, sorry, I'll try to tone it down a couple decibels next time." Dani said, dropping her bag in the middle of the floor.

"Hey, what do you guys want for dinner tonight?" Ali asked, "I think we should meet up with Naruto and go for Ramen."

"Mmmm...Ramen sounds delicious right now, and we haven't seen Naruto this week." Dani said, already going for the cookie jar in the kitchen where they kept the Ramen money.

"We saw Naruto yesterday!" Arashi said, laughing at Dani's forgetful nature.

"Oh, well, today is Monday so technically we haven't seen him this week!" Dani said after a small pause for thought.

"Nice save." Arashi said, shrugging into his jacket.

"Why thank you!" Dani said, hopping out the door with the Ramen money clutched in her fist.

"Where do you think Naruto is right now?" Ali asked, slamming the door with such force the windows rattled dangerously in their panes.

"I'll bet three chickens and a duck that he's in one of the training grounds." Dani said, already headed towards the little bridge that lead to the training grounds.

"That's on the completely other side of town!" Ali whined, "Why doesn't Arashi just go get him and meet us at the stand."

"Come on, it'll be great training. I'll race the two of you there!" Arashi laughed, trying to jolly Ali along.

"Well..." Ali said, debating the wisdom of racing Arashi, even if he was wearing a bunch of weights.

"Deal!" Dani shouted, scooping up Ali and taking off towards the forest with speed that would have seemed beyond her. At least, to anyone who was unaware of her close affinity with lightning.

"Cheater!" Arashi laughed more than accused as he took up on the chase.

"Nuh-uh. Using my Kekkai Genkai is not cheating! Ali stop being so heavy and get on my back properly!" Dani shouted as Ali tried to crawl to her other side before Dani's arms gave out and she was dropped.

"Yeah, well, I can still beat you!" Arashi shouted, putting on another burst of speed.

So they continued in that matter, until they had reached the war zone that doubled as Naruto's training field. They found their blond friend pounding a wooden post as though it had personally insulted him.

"Hey! Once you're done pounding that log do you want to go get something to eat?" Ali asked, being the only one with breath enough to talk.

"Yeah! Can we go get Ramen? Please please please please!" Naruto shouted as he bounced away from the log like a crazy hyper maniac.

"Alright, but you owe us a favor." Dani said, cutting Ali off before she could even begin to mention that they had been planning to get Ramen anyways.

"DEAL!!!" Naruto bellowed as he took off for the stand.

"So, have you tortured anyone lately?" Anko asked, bending down so that she was at eye level with the little old lady.

"Not recently no." The old lady sighed, "But I have killed a few Chihuahua."she said with a mock innocence.

"I like pie!" Said a little black dot on Anko's shoulder.

"Hey, who are you?" Anko asked, wobbling a little as she turned to look at it.

"I'm a Koala." The little black dot said, phasing into a turkey by mistake.

"No you're not! You're a goldfish!" Anko said, looking very smug at her 'keen powers of observation'.

"Uh...you win the prize!!! Please proceed to the graveyard to collect your new spaceship!" The blob said, forgetting in his panic that Anko wouldn't know what a spaceship was.

"Yay!! I win the prize! I win the prize! I win the prize!" Anko said, skipping off and leaving the old lady in the street, muttering about 'crazy drunk women', and a small black blot that wobbled off in search of Ali.

"Pork!"

"Chicken!"

"Pork!"

"Chicken!"

"Pork!"

"Chicken you crazy half eaten ant hill!"

Arashi dropped his head into his hands, Ali and Naruto had been arguing over what was the better flavor for nearly half an hour, it was time someone set them straight.

Before he could say anything though, the entire stand was silenced by none other than Dani, "Will you two just drop it! Beef is the best, END OF STORY!"

Everyone in the stand fell silent, which really meant that Ali and Naruto shut up, as the only other people in the stand were Arashi, Dani, and a quiet little Hyuuga girl.

"You agree with me don't you!?" Dani demanded, turning to the blushing girl with a inquisitive look.

"A-actually I l-like M-miso." The girl managed to stutter out, turning a blinding tomato red hue.

"Well then, it's settled. Miso is the best!" Arashi said, hoping to quiet everyone down before another fight broke out.

"I'm glad that's over." Ali said, patting her stomach, "Hey, what's your name?"

"H-hyuuga H-hinata." The girl answered in a little voice.

"Nice to meet cha!" Dani said, grabbing Hinata and giving her an affectionate hug, "I'm Dani! That's Ali, Arashi, and Naruto." She said, pointing to each in turn.

"H-hello." Hinata said, more to the table than anyone else.

"Hey, you're on team eight aren't you? I've seen you training before." Arashi said, blushing slightly when everyone gave him weird looks for knowing that.

"So that's where he was when Cougar piddled on my carpet." Ali muttered under her breath.

"U-uhh, yeah." Hinata said, blushing even harder.

"So little grasshopper, we should hang out sometime. We could go to the mall, torture old people, stalk small children, steal ANBU masks, all sorts of fun things!" Ali said, bouncing around and ending up sitting in Hinata's lap.

"Y-yeah, that would b-be f-fun I g-guess." Hinata said uncertainly, a little taken aback by Ali's blatant disregard for the personal bubble.

"Great! We'll meet you at 12:00 at training ground 13, our new official un-official headquarters!" Ali said, exploding out of Hinata's lap and ricocheting around the stand.

"Uhh...O-okay." Hinata said, still completely taken aback by Ali and Dani's blatant, well, energy, and secretly glad that she would have someone to hang out with tomorrow.

"Well, we better be getting back home now, lots of training in the morning!" Arashi said, grinning hugely as Ali and Dani groaned.

"Do we have to?" Ali whined, hoping that by some miracle some day Arashi would be compelled to answer 'no'.

"Yes."

"Actually, we have some very important business to attend to tomorrow. Yes, very important, crucial to the survival of the universe in fact." Dani said, failing to look or sound convincing.

"Really, and what would that be?" Arashi laughed at her, eagerly anticipating the far fetched story that would surely be coming.

"Well, we have a very important meeting with the King of the Bologna at five, and they're a very long winded people so that should last a good three hours at least. Then we have to clean the worlds largest parakeet cage, a considerable feat you will no doubt agree. That should keep us terribly busy until ten at least. Then we still have to slide down the worlds longest banister, eat twelve hundred pine nuts, and paint eighty seven chickens' toe nails. We will clearly be very busy until twelve, at which time we have arranged to meet our darling Hinata." Dani said, glowing with pride for her, seemingly, masterful excuse.

"Right, and the Hokage wears a turban." Arashi snorted, although he had to admit that the part about cleaning the world's largest parakeet cage was very well done.

"Of course he wears a turban! It's very fashionable, if I do say so myself." Dani said defensively, crossing her arms and planning to switch the traditional Hokage hat with a turban at the next opportunity just to mess with Arashi.

"Anyways, I gottta go." Naruto said, standing up and waving as he headed off towards his apartment, "See you guys later!"

"Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, we should be heading home as well." Dani said, standing and glaring at Arashi as though she really had suggested that they go home instead of him.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you! Don't forget, twelve o'clock at training ground thirteen." Said Ali, bouncing out of the door and having a bit of a tussle with the weird curtain door flap thingies.

"G-good-bye Dani-chan, A-ali-chan, Arashi-san." Hinata said, standing up from her seat as well.

"Good night." Arashi said, parting the flaps for Dani and Hinata, both in a show of chivalry and to ensure that Dani didn't shred them.

Hinata walked off in the direction of the Hyuuga compound and Ali, Dani, and Arashi headed off towards a less prestigious area of town, home.

"Goodnight Arashi-roo!" Dani shouted skipping up the stairs as soon as she got in the front door, "Come on Ali!"

"Night Roo!" Ali chirruped, heading for the stairs as well.

"Night guys, don't stay up too late, we're going to start training at 8:00 tomorrow!" Arashi said, slipping into the living room before Dani got the chance to throw an artichoke at his head for the training remark.

"Well, goodnight Dani." Ali said, heading for her bedroom door as they reached the landing.

"You dork, we still have to get a look at that folder." Dani said, dragging Ali after her into her bedroom and slamming the door.

"Now, let's see what's in this sucker." Dani said, plopping down on her bed and pulling the folder out of her backpack.

"Oooh, Aaah." Ali said, crawling up on the bed next to Dani as she opened the folder.

"Keep it down, we can't let Arashi hear." Dani said, before taking a closer look at the folder.

"Well this is wonderful, we won't even have to swipe that other folder from Ibiki. This one has all of the information for the exam, let's see, first test will be some strange physiological test..."

"Oh oh oh! I call the big guy with the needle and cute jacket!" Ali said, bouncing up and down like Christmas came early.

"NO Ali. This is NOT like the time we were captured and committed to the asylum!" Dani snapped, smacking Ali upside the head in a loving sort of way, "It's designed to test our information gathering skills, and our ability to 'see underneath the underneath' as Kakashi-sensei puts it."

"So, it's to see how good we are at cheating and bending the rules to fit our purposes." Ali said, tapping the side of her nose in a knowing sort of way.

"Yup! Well, it looks like we've really already passed that part, here is the test sheet with the answers, it was pretty dumb of them to put all of this into one easily swiped folder." Dani said, handing Ali a sheet of paper with a bunch of writing on it.

"Cool, I can have my blobs memorize this, and then when they give us the test we can substitute

our team's pencils with blobs and then all you have to do is hold on and look like you're writing!"

"Great idea! We should give Naruto and Hinata blob pencils too." Dani said, "I wonder though, Arashi would certainly notice his pencil moving on it's own."

"Oh, yeah, I wonder how that will work, he'll probably start shouting at us about cheating and get us thrown out of the exam." Ali said, completely crestfallen, "If we tell him about it before hand he'll never go along with it."

"That's it!" Dani said, grinning manically, "He'll _know_ that if he says anything then we'll get thrown out, he wouldn't risk that. Besides, he might even figure out that the whole point is to cheat. Either way, he won't rat us out."

"Brilliant."

"Why thank you." Dani said, "Okay, moving onto the next bit. A survival test. Ick. We get one of two scrolls, secretly, and we have to steal the other scroll from some other team. Hmm..."

"Well, what if we do the pencil thing, only with a scroll." Ali said, head tilted to the side in concentration.

"What, have the scroll write 'Hey, you should give me to those two really groovy chics 'cause they rock'? I don't think so." Dani snorted, returning to contemplating their little problem.

"No, I mean replacing one of the opposite scrolls with a blob." Ali said, pouting.

"That's genius!" Dani said, "Even if they catch us later, we can still say that our quick thinking allowed us to steal a scroll from another team before they even got it!"

"You're welcome." Ali said as she struck a heroic pose. "What's the next part of the test?"

"Hmm..Oh dear." Dani said, paling visibly. "The next part is a tournament. This is where they determine if you can advance or not, you just fight some other bloke and whoever wins fights the next guy. Even if you loose your match you can become a Chuunin but in this part you have to _prove_ that you're physically strong enough to advance. There's no getting around this one."

"Hmm...well, we can cheat, in our fights I mean." Ali said, thinking of the time she challenged Mr. Gibs to a duel and Captain Morgan shot her with Urban Dart Ninja Darts while they fought.

"I couldn't move my leg for two days." Ali said absently, forgetting that Dani could not read her thoughts.

"Where did that come from you mongoose!?" Dani asked, getting sleepier and crankier the longer she stayed awake.

"You know, that time that I fought Mr. Gibs and he and Captain Morgan cheated." Ali said, waving her hands around like a nutcase.

"Oh well, I don't remember but we'll figure that stuff out later, we've still got two weeks before we're officially even supposed to know about the exams." Dani said, yawning and motioning for Ali to go to bed, "We can return the folder tomorrow, but we'll have to escape training first."

"Goodnight!" Ali said, skipping off to her room. They had a busy couple of weeks ahead of them.

**Well, I hope you like it. Personally I think the last part was a lot rushed and terribly mediocre even for me but oh well. Maybe I'll get around to fixing it.**

**In the next chapter you can expect the return of the Dread Pirate Captain Morgan, this time accompanied by Nobeard Pistollero and Mr. Gibbs, his real life pirate crew.**

**I've been hearing that there should be a Dani and Arashi pairing, and I wasn't planning on doing one and I'd have to ask RasenganRendan but we'll see, I'd love to hear what everyone thinks about that.**

**Again, sorry for the super long delay. Please review.**


End file.
